#me making the most beautiful hua cheng I can think of like hold up. I need to COOK cook.
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tfw your high school crush/obsession whose dropped off the face of the earth for a decade just COMES INTO YOUR WORKPLACE.. WHERE YOU WORKโฆ
#hualian#NOT EVEN TO GET A TATTOO JUST TO KEEP A FRIEND COMPANY#and you sweet talk him into getting one for free even though youโve got a two year long wait list#you can call binghe and tell him that youโll finish his sleeve LATERRRRRR#GEGE IS HERE AND YOU GET TO FUCKING TOUCH HIS SKIN#background he xuan like what the fuck what the fuck. as he does SQXs scandalous thigh tat#listening in on hc GIGGLING AND KICKING HIS FEET UP#me making the most beautiful hua cheng I can think of like hold up. I need to COOK cook.#anyways I get one tattoo and start feeling it frโฆ#hua cheng#tattoo au
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Spoilers for Heaven Official's Blessing/TGCF
I've finished reading TGCF in record time (for me) and now idk what to do cause it was my hyperfixation and now that I'm done I'm depressed.
Anyways all that aside, since it's literally permeated my brain to the point it's rotting, any song I hear makes me think of it and here are my top few recent ones that I really love
Without further adieu, Songs That Remind Me of Heaven Official's Blessing:
1) Everything In You - HalfShy, Adventure Time. Lyrics:
You and me We got something to lose Boy, you got your dreams I got everything in you And I'll be there through all the reveries 'Cause I believe in you more than I ever believed in me Ooh, and I love you, love you, love you No, it's not so hard to tell And I love you, love you, love you Is it obvious to everyone else?
And maybe this is killing part of me But it ain't called love without a little tragedy
Explanation: Pretty straightforward, it's Hua Cheng's perspective. He's dedicated to the max. Though the intention here differs from the original context of the song in AT, it still applies. The tragedy here is not stemming from their relationship, but damn these two are poster children for tragic back stories.
2) J's Lullaby - Delaney Bailey. Lyrics:
Darlin', I'd wait for you Even if you didn't ask me to Tie a lasso around the moon And bring it on down to you I'd bottle the feelin' you give me And shelve that stuff for years to come 'Cause, baby, when your arms are around me I'd swear that I'm holding the sun I'd give you the sun if you asked me You could have all of the time You could have the stars and the trees When dividin' up the universe You could have mine You could have mine Darlin', I wish that you Could give me some more time To herd the whole sky in my arms And release it when you're mine
Explanation: again, very applicable to Hua Cheng's perspective. This song is one of the most intensely dedicated and heartfelt love songs and Hua Cheng is maybe the most loyal person to ever exist (800 years and not a single negative thought about Xie Lian, never a doubt in his mind of how much he loves him or if he should give up). Seriously, this song fits SO well I feel like to explain it would be redundant.
3) Little Life, Cordelia
youtube
Explanation: So, this one for me made me think of Xie Lian and the domestic little life he has with Hua Cheng and how much that means to him. This one isn't just lyrical, it's the whole sound and feeling of the song which is why I included it instead of writing the lyrics.
4) Slipping Through My Fingers - ABBA/Meryl Streep (both versions are good). Lyrics:
Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness And I have to sit down for a while The feeling that I'm losing her forever And without really entering her world I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter That funny little girl Slipping through my fingers all the time I try to capture every minute The feeling in it Slipping through my fingers all the time Do I really see what's in her mind Each time I think I'm close to knowing She keeps on growing Slipping through my fingers all the time
Explanation: This one's a lot different as this actually made me think of Xie Lian's mom. Seeing her son grow into a god and witnessing the distance grow between them. She was fully supportive and had so much love for her son, but he grew further and further away from her. This one gets me real sad, even if his mom wasn't super present in the story it's still heartbreaking.
And yeah, basically every song will remind me of the series ATM bc it's literally all that's on my mind but these 4 especially did and made me want to edit videos but I don't have that kinda time or energy or talent lmao. But the series is just.... Ughhhh it's such a beautiful story, even with any questionable moments/details, it's genuinely such a fantastically written series and GOD the love between Xie Lian and Hua Cheng is painfully beautiful. I don't love codependency but idec with these two they're both so supportive of each other and both fully want to be together at all times and you know what I also want them to be together at all times, they deserve it. I knew there was a lot of trauma since I first watched the show in 2021 and have been a fan, but actually reading all the books and learning everything is gut wrenching and heartbreaking and yet so beautiful and satisfying.
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tgcf liveread part 8
that time I live-tweeted my reading of tgcf, from the roof of my porch, in the spring of 2020 early pandemic, with the flowers blooming. trasnferred from twitter bc reading this book is a joy, please buy it so Hua Cheng can afford to have Xie Lian never cook again:
originally tweeted 3/31/2020:
"chop off your bitch head" as an insult
the love i have for e-ming cannot be overstated
hold on this is now..........:too much of an oral sex joke with Pei as the third party
Pei Ming, the most unexpected Hualian wingman: LET ME GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE ON GETTING IT ON, AS THE MOST EXPERIENCED ONE HERE
Oh No Pei Ming IS growing on me this friendship is Nice
Wingman Pei Ming just push for some hualian action here!!!!
I love little reminders that Hua Cheng already beat this level & won the video game of Mount Tongโlu
:) :) get scorpion snake bit :) :)
every time butterflies appear I do a small gasp
Interesting how many heavenly officials all ran to be on Mount Tongโluโs Next Top Ghost King
SMISE HARDER
AH H HH I YELLED
this is MAGICAL GIRL ULTIMATE TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE bc hua chengโs boyfriend is rubbing off on him??? No actually all xie lianโs Dramatic Moments are probably hua chengโs influence
ahhhhh my tiny heart what a beautiful reunion scene!! So Anime!! With hair and flower petals blowing in the wind!!!!!
I think i need to stop on the anime hualian reunion and shower and go to bed but NEXT TIME, ON CHAPTER 156
4/1/2020:
((a little chapter before work, as a treat)) (bc i dreamt of hua cheng finding xie lian living peacefully above a mexican restaurant after being missing for a century)
Mad Because Boyfriend Suffered Pain, a delicious flavor of ghost king,
are they married now?? Is this like handfasting in an ice cave full of bunnies with grandma officiant level marriage
It feels slightly more practical than that scene did
Xie Lian in the Buried but his anchor is Also in the Buried
โto die together probably feels like thisโ
Xie Lian: *soft smitten smile*
SOFTER MORE SMITTEN SMILE OMG
ahhhh, another pair of fighting brothers, what an unusual sight for an mxtx novel
oh now we get quan yizhen/yin yu huh
this makes my heart hurt a little
lovers in the dirt. smol babes
my coworker:
Me: and itโs a MILLION YEARS LONG and theyโre ENGAGED and only ONE OF THEM KNOWS IT
my coworker: what? how?
Me: and heโs just WEARING A DIAMOND RING AROUND like an IDIOT, and theyโve been MAKING OUT for PLOT REASONS
her: is this like a kdrama book
Hua Cheng: could whoeverโs fainting from exhaustion DO SO MORE QUIETLY, MY BOYFRIEND IS TRYING TO SLEEP
Xie Lian:.....do....do you have to cut it off *sad emojis*
dumb baby like he would ever think of cutting a red string between them
I think this subplot of the Kiln & Mount Tonglu is very cool? Later remind me to count up subplots & think how many episodes would be for each subplot...
hahaha WHO ON EARTH COULD IT BE THAT XIE LIAN TRUSTS SO MUCH, HMMMM also him petting the butterflies is adorable
the way hua chengโs accessories visibly get bigger/more energetic when xie lian praises them is very cute
WAIT HOW WAS RUOYE FORMED???? WHATEVER IT TOOK IT WAS WORTH IT
(future narrator voice: She Said, Stupidly,)
okay an aside: silver butterflies as security cameras that let us maintain limited 3rd person POV and yet know all the Heavenly Official Mt TongLu Next Top Ghost King drama is pretty good
Hahahahaha everyone eating popcorn while they watch Xuan Ji attack Pei Ming via silver butterfly Hua Cheng vision is just the right level of lightheartedness
THE RAIN MASTER IS A QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!!! LITERALLY!! I Love Her Already
Ah, to lie in a hammock in a volcano with your ghost king boyfriend and ... point out misogyny
FOUR TALES. FOUR FOR FOUR
also wtf has dianxia been doing for 800 years that he doesnโt know _any_ of this
With the Nie sect movie treatment....imagine all four of these heroes getting their own movie. Or rather all three besides our dianxia
Personally Iโm Team THE PRINCESS WHO SLIT HER OWN THROAT. Look at her magical animal:
sorry not sorry General Pei Toxic Masculinity Ming
the manhua ART for these four tales:
Hahaha this narrative treats Pei Ming APPROPRIATELY
okay next time on tgcf liveread part 9 ........
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beeโs ace xie lian fics~
No matter the fic, I always write Xie Lian as ace and think of Hua Cheng as demi. Though not that much talked about, after a year of being in this fandom, I can safely say that it turns out ace(spec) Xie Lian is actually a pretty popular headcanon, which brings me immense joy!!
I used to be scared of making that kind of post, but seeing how much the rep in these fics means to many fellow aces, I thought Iโd do a short masterpost for anyone else who might be interested!
I donโt tag the ones in which there's no mention of the headcanon, but I do tag even those where itโs briefly mentioned or just implied. I kept those out of the list, but you can easily find them on my AO3 account by setting the Additional Tags filter on Asexual Character. I only included those that have either a big focus on it, or those that have at least dialogue or some narration about it.
I will also link in the replies a Twitter thread with fics by other authors!
just this | rated T, 2.8k
โXie Lian smiles, bright and heartfelt, and oh, hereโs that feeling again. I get to have this. Wake up to this. This beautiful thing from my wildest dreams; my most beloved, shining his heavenly light on me.โ
or, the first of many moments of intimacy in Paradise Manor. ย ย
This one it remains very dear to my heart! It has a big focus since it was my first attempt at exploring this headcanon.
the sunlit altar | rated E, 4.6k
โโSince youโve mentioned it. . . Iโve been thinking,โ Xie Lian says softly. He returns to Hua Cheng to grasp his hand, looking resolute. His cheeks are dusted pink, tainted both with embarrassment and the vulnerability of complete trust. โI'd like to try it.โโ
or, Hua Cheng and Xie Lian's first time on Taicang Mountain. ย ย
This is the direct sequel to the first fic but, like all the other fics in the โin your arms (i am loved)โ series, it can totally be read as a standalone (itโs even the fourth fic I wrote because writing in chronological order? whatโs that)
all yours (all mine)ย | rated E, 4.8k
Hua Chengโs eye is dark; hungry as he looks at Xie Lian splayed bare for him, yet a tender adoration too great for words flows alongside it. Xie Lian tries for a moment to understand it, before deciding it doesnโt matter. Whether he does understand it or not, the result tonight will remain the same; theyโll have fun, and it'll make Heaven pale in comparison.
to have and to hold | rated T, 3.9k
โIn a flash, Hua Cheng is undressed. Xie Lianโs eyes flick away from the scroll for a brief moment before returning to it, utterly unfazed.
Hua Cheng sits on the bed, poking at Xie Lianโs hand.
Getting no reaction, he takes it, kisses it, then pecks his way along Xie Lianโs arm and, upon reaching his shoulder, adds a bit of teeth. Xie Lianโs eyes remain resolutely set on his scroll, brows furrowing at a line of characters, relaxing at the next.โ
or, leisure time at Taicang Mountain cottage doesn't quite go as Hua Cheng had hoped.
in you, i find myself | rated T, 1.7k
โThrough the burning flush of his cheeks, Xie Lian thinks for a moment, interrupting his braiding to place a second bead. โSo, towards everyone else. . . youโre like me, in some way?โโ
Big focus on asexuality in this one as it was written for International Asexuality Day! Also, demi Hua Cheng!
rhododendrons | rated M, 2.5k
โGege, did you know bodies can grow flowers?โ
or, Hua Cheng paints Xie Lian a body of flowers.
This is the sequel of another fic in which itโs only mentioned in passing, but reading it isnโt required to understand the sequel! This one also has demi Hua Cheng.
steady love (in a place we know) | rated T, 10.9k
Living and working out of his old van, Xie Lian has always travelled alone. When his best friend suggests they go on a trip together, he enthusiastically agreesโunaware that he's not only about to take Hua Cheng on an unexpected journey, but his own heart as well.
no ice left to break | rated T, 2.6k
โโWhat are you thinking about?โ Hua Cheng wondered, reaching out to wipe ice-cream off the corner of Xie Lianโs mouth.
He did it like he does everything else; gently, almost tenderly. As naturally as tugging on Xie Lianโs hand when he wants something, or blowing on a spoonful of broth so Xie Lian doesnโt burn his tongue before offering it to him.
โWe should go on a date,โ Xie Lian blurted.โ
always like this, with you | rated G, 1.4k
Xie Lian sets down his halfway done sweater on his lap, and taps his chin thoughtfully. โSo. . . from what you told me back then, you'd be demisexual. . . and I'd be greysexual?โ
Obviously very ace focused since this was written for Ace Danmei Week! I wanted to do something different and wrote greyace Xie Lian for this one.
of simple, wondrous things | rated E,ย 21.1k
In a college that strongly prohibits sex on campus grounds, Xie Lian goes about his studies as a confused spectator of the struggles many students claim to be going through. But when his roommates enter a relationship and sneak out at night to escape the rules, Xie Lian's curiosity on the matter gets the best of him; expecting to be rejected, he contacts Hua Cheng, a sex worker who only accepts new clients by recommendation.
Yet, to Xie Lian's surprise, Hua Cheng doesn't refuse him.
A lot about being ace in there but this time in full story form rather than a short fic! Also has demi Hua Cheng. (as a note, this is not a college au despite what the summary might make you think)
Thatโs all! For now >:) I hope these fics can bring you as much joy as writing them brought me! <3
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infinities within infinities
"Don't get me wrong," Xie Lian says, "I'm really grateful for the donation, but I don't think it's right to name the library after me."
But the man in the three-piece suit seems insistent. "You're a groundbreaking force in the world of philosophy," he says ardently. "I've read your Man, Thrice Ascended at least ten times. What you have to say about the concept of self as the infinite is revolutionary." He grins. The leather of the eyepatch over his right eye gleams in the sunlight. "The least you deserve is to have libraries named after you."
Xie Lian looks him over. This Hua Cheng is known as a reclusive billionaire, but thereโs nothing withdrawn about him now, as he surveys Xie Lian with a bright eye. Instead, heโs almost preternaturally relaxed, hands in his pockets, smiling as bright as if heโd captured the sun. Despite the money and the insistent words, thereโs nothing intimidating about him.. Xie Lian rather likes him.
โWell, thank you, I suppose, Mr. Hua,โ he says carefully. He still isnโt sure about the Xie Philosophy Library concept. He looks up at the building and tries to imagine his name on the placard; it just seems preposterous. The dreams of a very young graduate student who thought he could change the whole nature of philosophy. Now, a foolโs wish. That it would be granted so suddenly, and by the young man in front of him who canโt be out of his twenties? Unimaginable.
โNo need to thank me,โ Hua Cheng says, shaking his head. โThe very least I could do. Do you need a ride anywhere, Professor?โ
**
Hua Chengโs car might as well be a spaceship for how much it sticks out among the dumpy minivans and compact cars that surround it in the parking lot. Black, sleek, and gleaming, it truly seems to have beamed here from some point in a glittering future. Hua Cheng unlocks it with the touch of a button, and then, with another, the passenger side door swings open of its own volition. Xie Lian peeks inside. The interior is black as well, but for some touches that stand out in burning crimson.
โGo on, Professor.โ Hua Cheng is leaning on his side of the car, casting a sideways glance at him. โMake yourself comfortable.โ
Xie Lian obeys, ducking his head to get in. โYou really neednโt call me Professor,โ he says as Hua Cheng joins him on the driverโs side.
โWhat should I call you, then?โ Hua Chengโs smile is devastatingly brilliant, and Xie Lian is glad heโs sitting, because his knees have just gone to jelly. โI could call you gege, if itโs not too informal.โ
Heโs teasing -- at least, Xie Lian thinks heโs teasing -- but honestly the word comes out of his mouth more naturally than professor, and Xie Lian likes the sound of it better. โGege is fine,โ he says lightly.
โBut in return,โ Hua Cheng says, starting up the car, โyou have to call me San Lang.โ
โWhy?โ Thereโs something buzzing in Xie Lianโs brain now about the concept of naming, what we call ourselves versus what others call us, but he shunts it aside.
โWhy do you think?โ The car pulls out of its space, and a low rumble echoes in Xie Lianโs gut as it starts to navigate the parking lot. Hua Cheng is glancing at him between peeks in the rearview mirror. โYou know what they say about us billionaires, weโre eccentric. Humor me.โ
โVery well, San Lang,โ Xie Lian replies, and he likes the sound of that, too.
Itโs ten minutes of buzzing around the downtown streets before Xie Lian realizes he never gave a destination. โSan Lang,โ he says carefully, โwhere are we going?โ
โHere and there,โ Hua Cheng says. โI want to pick your brain about Man, Thrice Ascended.โ
โOh.โ Xie Lian is flattered, and honestly the concept of riding around aimlessly in this sleek machine appeals to him. โGo right ahead, then.โ
โTo tell you the truth,โ Hua Cheng says, โI have trouble wrapping my head around the concept of the self as infinite. Unless you believe in a higher power, the concept of self seems painfully finite to me, as it only exists between birth and death. Isnโt that a pretty limited span?โ
โOnly temporally,โ Xie Lian replies. โDid you know that there are 22 million seconds in the average lifetime?โ
โ22 million is a lot, but itโs not infinity,โ Hua Cheng counters.
โAh, but a second isnโt instantaneous. Seconds take time. If youโve ever tried to hold a plank for more than a minute, you know that well.โ And he really does look like the type who could hold it. If not for two. โThe unit of time Iโd rather use is the moment.โ
Hua Cheng glances at him. The car pulls onto the highway. โThe moment?โ he asks, gently spurring Xie Lian forward.
โExactly,โ Xie Lian says. โThe moment is instantaneous. Maybe there are hundreds of millions of moments in the span of a single second of time. Maybe more than that. We can conceptualize, then, that each second of a lifetime contains within it infinite moments, and each lifetime 22 million infinities.โ
โBut a moment is hardly an appreciable measure of time,โ Hua Cheng says. โHow many moments can we experience as moments with our limited consciousness? The moments experienced are still finite to the mind of the human who tries to count them. Even if you count as fast as you can, you canโt count to 100 within the space of a single second, much less infinity.โ
โYouโre asking good questions,โ Xie Lian comments.
Hua Cheng glows a little. โI told you, Iโve read the book a thousand times.โ
โWell, if you did read the book, then you know that our concept of moments here is merely a framework.โ Theyโre driving along the coast now, the bay blue and the sun starting its daily fizzle from yellow to red. โThe infinities that truly populate the self are not of time, but of possibility.โ
โInfinite choice in each moment.โ Hua Cheng nods. โExplain it to me one more time, please, wonโt you, gege?โ
Thereโs a little plaintive moan in his voice - just a sliver of an entreaty - and it gives Xie Lian the goosebumps. Here is someone whoโs truly appreciating his work, and heโs pleasant to look at and his voice is pleasant to the ear, and Xie Lian is reeling with how much good sensation is rolling into him with every second of this drive. Itโs like the best of good dreams, and he doesnโt want to think of it ending.
โIn any moment -- and I do mean moment, with our earlier definition,โ he says, โI could lean to the left. I could lean to the right. I could blink. I could lean to the left but just a little bit harder. I could think of the color red. I could think of the color blue. I could speak. I could stay silent. I could open the door and throw myself out of this car, if I wanted.โ
โPlease donโt,โ Hua Cheng interjects, sounding a little unnerved.
โItโs just a possibility,โ Xie Lian reminds him. โThere are, essentially, an infinite number of things I could do with each moment of my life. Each of them takes some time, but the process of choosing is instantaneous. So you have infinite possibilities in every single moment of infinite moments.โ
โNot infinite possibilities," counters Hua Cheng. "What you decide to do in one moment, as you said, takes time. The time it takes to perform that action necessarily negates the infinite nature of the next moment. You canโt make certain decisions while performing other actions.โ
โYour possibilities are still infinite in each moment,โ Xie Lian argues. โJust because some actions canโt be taken doesnโt mean there arenโt still infinite possibilities open to you. Think of numbers. An infinite number of numbers end in the digit 4. Itโs still an infinite set, even though numbers that end in the digit 5 arenโt included.โ
Hua Cheng frowns. โPerhaps my limited mind isnโt fully able to capture it,โ he says after a time. โYouโre very impressive, gege.โ
Heat blooms in Xie Lianโs cheeks. โThus,โ he says, โwe have the three ascensions. When the mind is able to grasp the concept of infinity within limited time, it ascends once. The second ascension comes when one accepts that infinite actions can be performed within that limited time. And the third ascensionโฆโ
โ...is when the mind grasps that the possibilities are infinite for each of an infinite number of moments,โ Hua Cheng fills in. โInfinities within infinities, all within the self.โ
Theyโve pulled off to a scenic outlook point on the bay. Hua Cheng eases the car into one of three parking spots and turns off the engine. He turns to Xie Lian. โGege always explains it so well,โ he says brightly. โThank you for indulging me.โ
Xie Lian can feel the flush creeping into his cheeks. He looks away. โYouโre welcome.โ
Another beep, and the carโs doors are opening again. Hua Cheng gets up, rounds the car to Xie Lianโs side, and holds out his hand.
They stand for a time side by side, watching the reddening sun dip its toes into the rippling water of the bay. Thereโs a strange peace to standing here, Xie Lian thinks, with this person he barely knows but is so ardent about his work. Iโm safe. Iโm appreciated. The sureness of that is unexpected but so, so welcome. Xie Lian thinks back, trying to remember the last time he felt that way. He canโt recall.
โItโs beautiful,โ he murmurs. Cars thunder past on the road behind them.
โThis is one of my favorite spots,โ Hua Cheng says. โIโm always taken by the vastness of the ocean here. It seems so full.โ He gestures down to where the water buffets the base of the cliffs below them. โLike itโs a moment from overflowing.โ
Xie Lian ponders this. โIโve never thought of the ocean as full or not,โ he says. โThe implication being that no more water can be added; that itโs complete as is, existing within its bounds.โ
โItโs a philosophical puzzle, isnโt it?โ says Hua Cheng lightly. โOf course, climate change is solving it as we speak. Rising sea levels and all. It seems the ocean has the potential to be boundless, even as we denote lines between sea and shore.โ
โAnd the question then becomes, how accurately can we draw those lines? And is it human folly to even attempt to do so?โ
โOf course,โ Hua Cheng says, โnone of these problems has practical application.โ
Xie Lian laughs. โMost of philosophy has no practical application. Thatโs why itโs philosophy.โ
โI wouldnโt say that,โ Hua Cheng replies. โYour philosophy has had effects on my psychology, at the very least. To think of myself as infinite has changed the way I look at the world.โ
โAnd how does it look?โ Xie Lian inquires, tilting his head.
Hua Cheng gazes at him, then turns back to face the sea. โBoundless,โ he says.
Xie Lian nods. The wind whips past them, whispering coldly against his cheeks and ears. He shudders.
Without a word, Hua Cheng removes his long coat and drapes it over Xie Lianโs shoulders. The coat is warm with his body heat, and all that heat seeps into Xie Lian in a rush. He draws in a breath. When Hua Chengโs fingers touch his neck to adjust the collar, he wants to shiver again, this time not from the cold.
โGege.โ Hua Chengโs honey-rich, low voice touches his ear like the strains of a cello. โWould you let me take you someplace nice?โ
Xie Lian looks out at the darkening bay. He thinks of the view from his office window, the wall of an adjoining brick building. He could go back there, write and read until the early morning hours. Perhaps he would sleep on the cot heโs laid out in there. Staring at the mottled ceiling, contemplating eternity.
Or he could go with Hua Cheng, who is holding out his hand, looking hopeful.
Xie Lian takes it.
They drive for another 10 minutes along the coast, then take an exit into an area filled with green fields. Huge houses dot the landscape -- this is the domain of the super-rich, Xie Lian thinks, because these fields arenโt used for farming. Theyโre simply green as far as the eye can see, well-manicured, sometimes interrupted by copses of grand old trees with outstretched branches. Some of the houses are surrounded by lush flower gardens. Itโs not an area Xie Lianโs ever been too, nor does it seem like the kind of place he would want to live. But itโs fascinating just to see it for the first time.
Hua Cheng pulls down a narrow road, then turns onto another. Xie Lian squints as he makes out something odd on the horizon. Whatever it is, itโs silver, and a cluster of buildings sit low and flat around it. When wide concrete paths start to interrupt the endless greenery, he realizes what heโs looking at.
โI thought,โ he says gingerly, โwhen you said someplace nice, you meant a fancy restaurant.โ
โWe can go to a restaurant,โ Hua Cheng answers airily. He pulls the car into the yard, and they park. Holding Xie Lianโs fingers loosely, he leads him along the paths toward the airfield. The private jet sits on the runway like a horse at the gate, already humming. A movable staircase leads up to the main entrance. A number of people are working around it. One of them sees the pair approaching and offers Hua Cheng a bow.
โHow soon can we be ready?โ Hua Cheng asks him.
โTwenty minutes,โ the man says. โWeโve been prepping since we got your text.โ
Xie Lian wonders when Hua Cheng had managed to text them. โThis is your plane?โ A silly question; Hua Cheng nods easily, as though everyone has a private airfield with a jet ready to go at any moment. โWhere are you taking me?โ
Hua Cheng meets his gaze with a smile. โWhere would you like to go? Tokyo? Hong Kong? Thailand is stunning this time of year.โ
โSan Lang,โ Xie Lian starts, his heart pounding. Hua Cheng smiles that much more widely at the sound of the name. โIsnโt this a littleโฆโ
โMuch?โ Hua Cheng finishes for him. โNot at all. Not for gege.โ He lays a hand on the small of Xie Lianโs back -- Xie Lian gasps at the touch -- and ushers him forward until they are both standing at the bottom of that staircase, the airplaneโs door a wide unblinking eye at the top. Hua Cheng bows and makes a gesture with his hand toward the staircase -- after you.
Xie Lianโs brain rockets into high gear. He has brought nothing with him but his briefcase, and even that is still in the car. No one knows where he is or where heโs going. Heโs traveled a little in life -- nothing too far from home -- but this would be a trip like no other, totally unplanned and utterly irresponsible. Every ounce of common sense in his brain is urging him to shake his head politely and back away.
But this man. This fascinating man, who is offering him the world. For every voice inside Xie Lian that says no, thereโs a current of pulsing blood in his veins whispering yes, yes.
โIโm not sure,โ he begins, tentatively.
โGege,โ Hua Cheng murmurs, โYou speak of self as containing an infinity of possibilities for every moment of life. But the paradox of infinity is that some infinities are larger than others. At this moment, you have more possibilities than ever before. Given those infinite possibilities, at this moment, what will you choose?โ
Heโs right. The possibilities facing him right now are truly endless. And hidden in Hua Chengโs words, there is a challenge -- do you dare? And Xie Lian finds, to his surprise, that he does. He not only dares, he wants. To see this through, to learn more about this man, to take a crazy chance. His heart is pounding with the force of his desire. And once, just once in his studious, conservative life, he listens to it.
He smiles at Hua Cheng, lifts one hand to the railing of the staircase, and begins to ascend.
#hualian#hualian fic#hualian au#tgcf#tgcf fic#tgcf au#heaven official's blessing#heaven official's blessing fic#stuff tippy wrote
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More Than This VI ใVใ
Itโs no surprise XL gains his own taste of fame after walking the red carpet with one of the most sought-after actors in the country. He doesnโt mind it, going as far as to create a few social media accounts to interact with fans and scroll through their photos and edits of him. He has a few fan sites too, but only for fancy events where he chooses to be recognized in public.
XL and HC agreed before sharing their relationship with the public that they would maintain a strong sense of privacy when it came to their personal lives. They only share what they want to. The paparazzi who manage to take photos without permission are immediately disciplined so it doesnโt happen again.
(โI canโt believe you did it.โ
โHmm, Gege said he was okay with it.โ
โI know! But I didnโt expect you to actually....โ XL stares at a recent selfie of them HC had posted on his Twitter, taken the night HC won his award. โWe look like we just had sex.โ
โNobodyโs gonna know.โ
XL raises an unimpressed eyebrow at his boyfriend. HC insists again.
โNobodyโs gonna know-โ
โTheyโre gonna know,โ XL says with a sigh, pointing to the hickey marks clearly visible on the photo. HC rolls over closer to XL in their bed, scrutinizing the image on XLโs phone.
โOh, I didnโt see those when I posted the photo.โ
โSan Laaang!โ XL cries, pushing at the taller manโs shoulder before burying his face into his pillow. HC makes XL breakfast in bed as an apology and promises to not drunk-post anything again.)
Eight months after officially datingโwhich is over two years since they metโHC asks XL to move in with him. XL doesnโt even need to think about his answer, a simple โYes! Yes please!โ escaping his lips. Both HC and XLโs faces light up with overjoyed smiles.
They seem to have had the same idea about where to live, purchasing a home theyโve been eyeing for months! The best aspects include a massive yard (front, side, and back) for XL to tend to, a hot tub, and a spacious living and dining room area to entertain guests. Itโs not the grandest or most impressive residence by size or feature. In fact, the first months have them living in a half-finished, rusty house with the prettiest garden youโve ever seen.
It gradually gets better. HC and XL knew they would have to do a lot of work to improve the shape of their home. Over the next year, they repair and remodel the house themselves, simultaneously adding value to the property and curating the style to fit their dream home. XL makes sure to post progress photos on his social media. His most recent selfie of HC and himself in hardware glasses got over 500k likes! He pinned HCโs comment that said, โGege is my own very handyman!โ
(HC, in a sleeveless tee, shorts that show off his ass, hair pulled back into a high bun: โGege, youโre the boss now. Tell me what to do.โ
XL, struggling not to gawk at HCโs side boobs: โO-okay, first, can you smash those cabinets-โ
Cue them making out against the counter when itโs the only part of the kitchen that is fully done.)
***
Having a partner who considers the outdoors as a second home is a special experience. XL often takes HC on dates to national parks and plant nurseries. They go on weekend camping trips where XL teaches HC how to properly filter water, summit long stretches of terrain, and stay warm during cold nights with below-freezing temperatures.
(HC, trying to fit into XLโs sleeping bag: โHi, gege-โ
XL: โSan Lang, you have your own sleeping bag that you can actually fit in.โ
HC: โBut Iโm cold. Gege helps keep me warm.โ
XL: โFine. But letโs use yours because itโs bigger.โ
HC, kissing XLโs forehead: โThank you, my love.โ)
On their hikes, XL points to different plants, explaining their origins and why he finds each one particularly beautiful. At first, HC picks up random flowers on the way home and then he asks XL about what flower fate gave him that day to gift his beloved. (โSan Lang, thatโs not allowed!โ) HC eventually stores all the random facts in his mind, always eager to listen to XL talking about his passion. He also learns to keep his hands from digging up โpoor, helpless plants from their home soil.โ
However, this unfortunately doesn't prevent HC from accidentally squishing some plants in their yard that he thought were just weeds.
(HC, thinking heโs a good partner: โGet out, stupid weeds. CHOP CHOP!โ
XL: โSAN LANG STOP, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?โ
HC: โGege always works so hard. I just wanted to help you in the yard today because you deserve it.โ ๐ฅบ
XL: *sigh* โI appreciate the gesture, San Lang. But those particular grasses took months to grow, and you just killed them-โ)
***
Countless media outlets try to stir up trouble like they typically do with celebrities. Especially when HC has roles that involve romance, articles claiming HC and XL are on the brink of breaking up receive lots of attention. However, what gains more attention are the videos the couple posts on Youtube or Instagram live of their reactions to their โscandals.โ
(XL, reading a headline: โActor bachelor Hua Cheng and co-star Yushi Huang seem to be cozying up after a late-night shoot.โโ
HC: โIโm not a bachelor, the fuck?โ
XL, smiling: โYou could be. Me as well. We can be bachelors together.โ
HC, chuckling: โAll right. If gege is, then so am I.โ
The comments: โThat doesnโt make any sense!?โ
HC, reading another headline: โHCโs lover found with a mysterious third party??โ
XL, exclaiming: โOh, thatโs Shi Qingxuan! You know, the designer for all our red carpet outfits!โ ๐ฅฐ๐ฅฐ
HC: *nodding along*
XL, cheekily: โ-and my secret second-loverโ
HC: *blanches* โWhat.โ
XL: โKidding!!!! San Lang is the only one for me, hehe.โ *kisses HCโs cheek* โOkay, next one!โ)
Everyone watching the videos is 50% confused and 50% entertained as HC and XL make light of any drama the media portrays them in. Viewers accept that of course, the rumors arenโt true; HC and XL are still very much in love.
Theyโre in love with each other and will continue falling for many years to come.
***
HC doesnโt like watching himself on screen. However, he does enjoy previewing his own movies for the first time with his boyfriend.
While XL watches the new movie, HC observes XLโs reactions. It helps that XL is a conversational movie watcher too. XLโs narrations consist of horny comments during the sexual scenes (โOoh, thatโs hot. Nice tongue.โ โThank you?โ), side remarks about the plot and characters (โSan Lang, your character is very rude.โ โ...โ), and dramatic reactions to the huge reveal scenes where HC becomes a human punch bag. (โOh my goooosh, San Lang!! It was him all along- AHH!!โ)
As a perfectionist, something you have to be in HCโs field of work, HC is incredibly self-critical of his performance. Which is another reason why itโs nice to have XL watch alongside with, who never has a shortage of praises for his boyfriend.
(HC: โFuck, why did they leave this shot in the final? Iโm supposed to be mourning for my dead lover but instead, I look like Iโm crying out of daddy issues. Why did no one tell me!? It looks so bad-โ *pointing to himself on the screen* โ-stop looking so constipated-!โ
XL, squeezing HCโs nape and massaging his shoulders: โSan Lang, no one thinks that except for you. You did everything perfectly. Please acknowledge your hard work and just enjoy the movie.โ
HC: *sigh* โYouโre right. Okay. Thanks, gege.โ
A beat of silence. HC cuddles closer to XL.
HC: โLove you.โ
XL: โLove you too.โ)
***
XL now knows HCโs movies well enough to quote HCโs lines in his movies to make him laugh. HC happily indulges him, questioning after breaking character, โGege, are you sure Iโm the actor out of the two of us?โ
One time, HC and XL are in their kitchen re-enacting a scene with HC as the investigator going to a bartender for more information on his suspect. HC has XL caged against the counter, asking in a teasing manner, โHow can I repay you for your help tonight?โ
XL lowers his eyelids, looking up through his lashes, flawlessly depicting his character. โAny restrictions on your offer?โ
โNo, darling. Name a price, a brand, a desire. Right now, anything is on the table,โ HC says huskily. XL slyly bites his lip.
โAnything?โ
โAnything.โ
XL brings a hand up to cup HCโs jaw, then smooths it down his neck, traveling down his bare chest. XL tilts his head to expose his neck, wanting to build up his boyfriendโs anticipation. But before he can say his next line, HC effortlessly throws XL over his shoulder like a bag of rice.
โSan Lang, wait, this is not how it went in the movie!โ XL shouts, a little dizzy from the sudden lift turning him upside down. HC takes long strides to their bedroom, plopping XL on their mattress and blanketing him with his larger frame.
HC only utters a husky โweโre improvisingโ before diving down to devour XLโs lips. XLโs arms hook around HCโs neck, holding him impossibly close.
***
After a filming shoot where HCโs character gets beaten upโHC performing his own stuntsโhe heads home beyond exhausted. He just wants to take a relaxing shower and cuddle his boyfriend in their warm bed.
HC arrives at their house a little past midnight. He opens the door and finds XLโs back facing him, quietly humming a song as he takes care of the vase in the living room. The sight makes HC smile.
However, as XL turns around, the vase slips from his hands and explodes into pieces on the ground.
โSan Lang! What happened to you!?โ XL cries out, the panic in his voice only comparable to the day he had confessed. HC stands in the doorway confused. Was something wrong with his appearance?
XL is on him in an instant, his pupils shaking as he frantically asks, โDoes it hurt a lot? What happened!?โ
HC blinks, expression blank as he still doesn't understand what has freaked XL out. But as the shorter man gently caresses HCโs face, it suddenly hits him.
The make up!
HC urgently starts rubbing the fake bruises off his face. โGege, Iโm okay! Itโs just make up, none of this is real. See?โ He holds his hands out for XL to see as the pigment stains HCโs palms. โIโm so sorry! San Lang is dumb, he didnโt mean to make you worry,โ HC murmurs as he takes XL between his arms. He really loves this man too much.
XLโs teary eyes shine glimmer as HC embraces him. โY-youโre sure youโre okay?โ
HC nods, leaning into the slender hand that cups his cheek.
โThank goodness,โ XL breaths out as he buries his face into HCโs neck. His next words are slightly muffled. โIt looksโฆso realistic.โ
โYeah, the make up artists are all quite talented, arenโt they?โ
XL clings tighter to HC.
โVery much so. Letโs shower so we can properly wash it off.โ
โAll right,โ HC says. โWait, we?โ
XL tugs HC toward the master bathroom.
โHush, letโs go.โ
***
They lay in bed together after four long months of separation. Both of them had been in different parts of the country; HC filmed a drama series while XL traveled for several high-profile projects. Their respective busy work schedules limited communication to brief video chats and text messages, which never seemed enough.
Now, with his head resting on HCโs chest, their legs overlapping comfortably, XL finally feels like heโs where he belongs.
โWhy did you choose me?โ
Tactical fingers massage XLโs scalp, lulling him into a serene state of bliss. XL nuzzles further into his boyfriend-sized pillow.
โItโs not like I can choose who I fall in love with, Gege,โ HC states with a light chuckle. โBut if you want an answer, itโs because you are everything Iโve ever wanted in a partner.โ
XL looks up at his boyfriend, mouth forming a shape of an O.
โThat simple? Even when we made a deal to have no strings attached?โ XL asks. HC groans at the reminder of their initial agreement.
โYes, which was a dumb decision on my part.โ
โI agreed to it too. We were both dumb.โ
They are silent for a moment. Itโs not the first time theyโve talked about or referenced their insecurities when it came to confessing their feelings. XLโs luck when it came to dating someone who could love him for every part of him was practically nonexistent. HCโs constant grappling for his self-identity and worth rendered most of his relationships superficial. And temporary.
Always temporary.
โI canโt believe you thought I didnโt like your plants though. Theyโre so pretty. And fascinating.โ HC says, breaking the silence.
โThey take up half our living room space.โ
โSo? You work with plants all day. Theyโre bound to be a part of your personal life as well.โ
XLโs heart bursts with a sudden fondness. Itโs a wonderful thing to be appreciated for the little things.
โIโm glad you think so,โ he says happily. HC hums in response, sending vibrations to where XLโs cheek lays on his chest. โI canโt believe I didnโt know you were a famous actor for the first three months weโฆโ
โMet up for sex?โ HC finishes with an impish grin.
โYes,โ XL laughs.
โIt was nice not to be recognized for once. With you, I could just be myself,โ HC says with ease he never thought he would be able to do. Heโs struggled with letting himself be vulnerable his whole life. It turns out, HC just had to find the right person. And thank god he did. XL is more than HCโs outlet from his career. Heโs become HCโs closest friend who knows him the best; he is HCโs number one supporter in any endeavor he pursues; he makes HC feel important. XL sees and loves HC for who he is. No amount of fame or wealth could come close to comparison.
โGege?โ
โHmm?โ
โDoes it ever bother you that my life is always everyone elseโs business?โ HC softly asks.
โWell, the fame can be a bitโฆuncomfortable,โ XL admits. โBut youโre an amazing actor. And a remarkable person. I canโt blame your fans for loving you so much, you know? I also got to ride in a limo-โ
โWhich you rode very well-โ
XL flicks his boyfriendโs forehead.
โYouโre so predictable.โ
โYou wouldโve said the same thing given the chance. Donโt lie, gege.โ
They go back and forth a little longer, never once creating unnecessary distance between each other as they roll around until theyโre on their sides. Facing each other in their bed thatโs been vacant for months, HC and XL are inseparable.
โAs I was saying, fame is something that comes with your jobโyour passion. You canโt control it, nor does it solely characterize who you are. Besides, I get to be a part of your life! Thatโs all that really matters,โ XL continues. He shifts forward so their bodies are closely pressed together. XL plants a kiss on HCโs chin, then whispers a confession that tilts HCโs entire world on its axis.
โIโve been waiting my whole life for someone like you.โ
HCโs world spins and spins until all that he sees is his beloved, gleaming brighter than all the galaxies without the power to disrupt their orbit. He wraps his arms around XL and kisses the top of his head.
โMe too, Gege.โ
Bonus:
HC watches wearily as XL salivates at a showering scene where HCโs bare ass flashes in the frame. XL turns to HC with a serious look in his eyes.
โSan Lang! Hiking has done your ass wonders.โ
XL sneaks a grope to a meaty cheek. HC chokes.
***
โYou canโt be late to your own premiere!โ XL cries incredulously.
โTry me,โ HC purrs into XLโs ear, delicately kissing the lobe.
XL gasps as teasing hands roam around his torso, one of them slipping down to cup his behind. He vaguely thinks about how SQX is expecting them in the next hour to help with their red carpet outfits. But when hungry lips attach to the sensitive column of his neck, XL is a goner.
โGege doesnโt have to do any work. Just lay back and look pretty.โ
(Brainchild with @no-one-says-hi!)
#tgcf#heavenly official's blessing#hualian#hualian au#cerdrabbles#fluff#Actor HC#Landscaper XL#fine.
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Ch. 68: Tang Fan Spills Medicine Over Injured Sui Zhou & Makes Him Take Off His Pants
Context: Tang Fan, Sui Zhou and their surviving subordinates have escaped the tomb and won against the remnants of the White Lotus Sect members camping outside their escape route. They should be celebrating, but trouble has only begun for Tang Fan. Although Yin Yuan Huaโs death was hardly his fault, their rivalry is still well-known back in the imperial city. Yin Yuan Huaโs direct supervisor makes use of this opportunity to lodge a complaint about Tang Fan having failed as a leader, and Tang Fanโs powerful allies in the ministry are all sent away. This case must have a scapegoat, and the Emperor, hearing all the complaints about Tang Fan from another official as well, decides to suspend him from his rank and title.
Before they deal with that, however, Tang Fan tries to take care of an injured Sui Zhou on their way back, and is unsurprisingly, absolutely useless at taking care of someone else.
*Note: Tang Fan is referring to a previous incidentย later when Sui Zhou teased him about his... after making him take off his pants (for a good reason).
Introduction Post | Masterpost
โ
Highlights under the cut
In Tang Fanโs eyes, his person career advancement will never be as important as the health of his friends and companions. He orders Cheng Wen and the rest to properly record all the treasures and also rejects Magistrate Heโs attempts to make him stay, bringing everyone on the journey back to the imperial city.
They are not as much in a rush this time on the way back because they have to take care of those who are injured. The journey cannot be too fast and they must often take rests at outposts along the way meant for officials.
Magistrate He helped them to prepare several carriages and inside, several thick layers of soft covers have been placed to ferry the injured. A physician is also accompanying them on this journey and he can help to prescribe and brew medicine, and also to treat wounds.
As Sui Zhouโs internal organs have been wounded, he needs to to rest often and adding to that, he has to drink medicine that has herbs that would help with his sleep, so on this entire journey, he has spent most of the days in sleep.
Those who are injured need someone to take care of them, and the only woman in this convoy is Lady Chen. However, as sheโs a wanted criminal, she can enjoy sitting in a single carriage, but her hands and legs have been trapped with heavy cuffs. There are supervising men stationed before and behind this carriage. Tang Fan cannot let her come and take care of Sui Zhou, and so Tang-daren volunteers bravely to take on the responsibility of attending to this patient.
Pang Qi is immensely touched at how noble Tang-daren is.
And at this moment, Sui Zhou is still unconscious in rest, otherwise he would be the first one to jump up and oppose thisโฆ but the ship has sailed and there is no time for him to even protest.
After Sui Zhou wakes up, he realises that the person who is delivering his medicine to him has change from the accompanying physician to Tang Fan.
โโฆโ
โWhat is it?โ Tang Fan asks.
โWhereโs the physician?โ
โHeโs helping others to change their dressings, Iโll feed you today,โ Tang Fan answers.
Sui Zhouโs smile is forced as he says, โNo need, I can do this myself.โ
Tang Fan thinks that heโs only being courteous, and then presses him down, โThe physician said, forcing all of you to journey back at this point is already harmful to your injuries. If you can lie down just lie down, then you can recover quickly! How close are we, you donโt have to stand on ceremony with me!โ
Sui Zhou is speechless, thinking that he would truly like to stand on ceremony with him.
Tang-daren scoops out a spoonful of the medicine and is about to bring it to Sui Zhouโs mouth. He then remembers the way Sui Zhou took care of him when he was ill, and learns from him by placing the spoon to his lips to test the temperature, before sending it over.
And yet, just as it is about to arrive at its destination, Tang Fanโs hand shakes.
Sui Zhou, โโฆโ
Tang Fan, โโฆโ
Sui Zhou, โItโs best if I drink it myself.โ
Tang Fan laughs, โIโm just not used to this, sorry, sorry! Or we can change a position?โ
He uses his sleeves to wipe at Sui Zhouโs shirt and places the bowl aside first. He then helps Sui Zhou up so that he is half leaning on him, then picks up the bowl, carefully bringing it up to Sui Zhouโs mouth. He slants the spoon slightly, thinking that this time, his hand will not shake, at least.
Unexpectedly, a womanโs scream resounds from the outside, and then it is followed by the sounds of chaos from a startled bunch of men and horses.
After a moment, they then hear Qian San Erโs voice, โSui-daren, sorry about this and that we disturbed your rest. Lady Chen was screaming for no reason and insisted that someone was peeping at her as she was changing clothes. We didnโt startle you did we, Sui-daren?โ
Tang Fan, โโฆโ
Sui Zhou, โโฆโ
This time, the whole bowl of medicine has been spilled on Sui Zhouโs face. Thankfully the medicineโs temperature was just nice, otherwise they will have to add another item to the list of Sui Zhouโs injuries.
Sui Zhou is left with no choice but to remove the bowl from his face, and says, โIโll do it myself.โ
Tang Fan is speechless, โGuang Chuan, I really did not meant toโฆโ
Although Sui Zhou is the victim of this, he wants to laugh, โI know, but you are not the type to assist others like this. Get someone to brew another bowl, you just have to stay and chat with me.โ
He has to comply unconditionally with the patientโs requests. Tang Fan is reinvigorated, โSure, what do you want to talk about?โ
Sui Zhou, โโฆ You should help me get another set of clothes to change first.โ
โOh, oh, oh,โ Tang Fan says.
Seeing Tang Fan get up to help him find clothes, Sui Zhou cannot help but feel helpless but also slightly sweet inside. Helpless, because Tang Fan cannot even take care of himself and wants to take care of others - anyone who is taken care of by him will end up in a pitiful condition. And slightly sweet becauseโฆ Sui Zhou does not need to describe it, as long as he himself knows what it is about.
After a moment, Tang-daren comes back with a pile of clothes.
Sui Zhou has internal injuries and his hands and legs are fine. The physician asked him to recover in peace and quiet, but never said that he cannot move entirely, so changing his own clothes is not a problem. However, Tang Fan insists that he feels guilty and wants to make amends for what he did earlier. Sui Zhou is unable to refuse this face filled with sincerity, and can only silently agree to Tang Fanโs offer.
Sui Zhouโs bronze-coloured abs and muscles are revealed as his inner layer is removed. From the lines of his arms and chest, one can see that he definitely has trained hard on a daily basis. At the same time, as he frequently needs to walk on the edge of danger and has been through many battles, the old marks left by wounds on his body are not little. Some are old and the colours have become very light, but some of them he got a few days ago in the tomb, and are only starting to scab over.
And yet it is this body littered with scars and marks that are a testament to how manly and masculine he is. Without the cover of clothes, he is definitely more imposing than usual. Even if he is wounded now and sitting on the bed, the first thing every person will think of is that this is a sleeping lion, and not a sick cat.
Originally, it would have been fine to just change his outerwear and the inner layer, but Tang Fan insists on changing the full set, making him change his pants as well together. Sui Zhou has no choice but to go along with it. And in the end, when he takes off his pants, he sees Tang-daren eyeing him there, and mischievously he says, โSo the shape looks like that.โ
Sui Zhou, โโฆโ
How well Tang Fan holds onto grudgesโฆ so many days have passed, and at that time, Sui Zhou was merely teasing him, must he remember it like this?
Tang Fan helps him to change and says, โComing to Gong County, I thought of some materials for the new novel. Iโll write about a man who was born in the wilderness and one day, a demon sets its eyes on a unique treasure that has been passed down for generations in the manโs family. However, heโs troubled by the fact that the treasure recognises its owner and the demon cannot come close to it. And so the demon drinks on the fresh blood of women and turns himself into a beautiful woman, seduces the man and finally makes the man fall irrevocably in love with her, so much so that he willingly gifts the treasure to the demon. The demonโs true form is immediately revealed, the man sees that the person who has slept with him all this time is a horrifying demon filled with scales and has blood-filled eyes, and is scared to death. What do you think?โ
Sui Zhou is silent for a bit, โIt is rather good.โ
But he also has a bad feelingโฆ
As expected, the next moment, he hears Tang Fan say, โHow about I call the man Sui Zhou then?โ
โChange it,โ Sui Zhou replies.
Tang-daren goes with the flow, โAlright, then Iโll call the demon Sui Zhou.โ
Sui Zhou, โโฆโ
As people say, one would rather offend a gentleman than offend Tang-daren.
Donโt just judge by Sui Zhouโs unapproachable face, and how he seems cold and ruthless to his subordinates and others. Everyone tends to think that he is so cold that he doesnโt have friends and even when he spends time with his good friend Tang Fan, it is Tang-daren who is always giving in to him.
They do not know that their assumption is wrong, because with Tang-daren, Sui Zhou has this โas long as he is happy anything goesโ attitude. Once compromise becomes a habit, he unconsciously keeps giving in, and giving in, and giving in againโฆ
Giving in to the end, and Sui Zhou is defeated and convinced.
And so Tang-darenโs new novel and the name of the demon in it is set, just like that.
As for those from the Northern Administrative Court who will see the book in stores in the future, they will make a noise of confusion, โZhenfushi-darenโs surname is not common, how did it turn up here? Is the author a man who was arrested and tortured by Sui Zhou before?โ
But that is all talk for later. Tang-daren finally can make use of this opportunity when Sui Zhou is weak and via the chance to change his clothes, he unceremoniously bullied the other. He is feeling exceptionally good right now, and hums a small tune under his breath.
Sui Zhou doesnโt know if he is deliberately being like this in front of him, or if he really does not care, and cannot help but ask directly, concerned, โDid you think about what will happen after you return to the imperial city?โ
#tsomd#cheng hua shi si nian#cheng hua's fourteenth year#ๆๅๅๅๅนด#fanzhou#suitang#fanzhou highlights#sui zhou#tang fan#translations#tsomd novel
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the stars will die and will be reborn (and i will still love you)
inspired by this gorgeous art right here, seriously it s lovelyย
Hua Cheng was getting dizzy and he fisted his hands into Xie Lianโs shirt, trying to control himself, to not fall over from where he sat on the back of his husband. It ended up as an accident, a teasing accident, may we say, but not Hua Cheng was feeling like the one who was getting teased.
โAnd I saw this beautiful glass bird, it was so colorful and fragile, San Lang! And of course I went and asked how much was it? And do you know what the merchant told me?โ
Hua Cheng had a very hard time figuring out exactly what Xie Lian was saying, his entire mind and his entire body, his entire being was concentrated on the way Xie Lian easily lifted himself up again and then down, up and down.
Ok, it was stupid, a little bit, it really was. Hua Cheng didnโt really know what was going on through his head when he asked Xie Lian if he thought he could do push-ups with Hua Cheng sitting on his back. Xie Lian then cocked an eyebrow and pulled his long hair in a bun, only two streaks of hair left to hang loosely around his face. He discarded his outer robe and smiled at Hua Cheng and only said โFor sure I can.โ
Hua Cheng should have known that it was not going to be good for him. But, what do they say, love makes you do foolish things? Well, then Hua Cheng was the utmost lovesick, betraying himself like that.
He closed his eyes and he took a deep breath. His mind was racing in places he should try to keep closed. But, then, oh, that only made him think more, about how strong Xie Lianโs arms were, about how he could so easily pin Hua Cheng and never let go, about, about, aboutโฆ
โโฆand the merchant said โDo you know what kind of bird this is? Brought from Ghost City, it has magic properties! You should know that its price is totally correct. I wonโt make you a discount, no matter how long you beg of me too.โ And do you know what I said, San Lang?โ
Hua Cheng gulped and shook his head. โWhat, gege?โ
He congratulated himself for forming an entire sentence (actually two words, but who countedโฆ? Eight letters, he managed to say eight latter without stuttering or drooling all over, wasnโt that something he should reward himself for?)
โโฆand bargained for half an hour! Even gods are easier to negotiate than merchants! And I managed to get a discount in the end!โ It was a mistake to look. Hua Cheng should have just kept his eyes closed.
โAnd, wait, have I told you?โ Xie Lian lifted one of his arms in the air, making small gestures as he was talking and Hua Cheng felt like dying. Again. Seriously, to die thrice for this man wasnโt enough?
For Hua Cheng it felt like it wasnโt.
His body shivered and he could no longer stand it. He swept down so quickly that Xie Lian barely noticed there was no one sitting on his back anymore and when he lowered himself their lips crashed together.
Xie Lian made a surprised sound but he didnโt pull back. He only closed his eyes and kissed further, gently, teasing and Hua Cheng could feel the upward curve of his loverโs lips.
โWas I really that boring?โ asked Xie Lian once their lips parted enough for him to still feel the Ghost Kingโs breath on his skin. Hua Cheng eye darkened and he shook his head. The tip of his ears was red, and Xie Lian bent his head down and kissed it.
โGegeโฆ could never, ah, bore me.โ Hua Cheng took a sharp breath as Xie Lian kissed his way further down, under his ear, to the line of his jaw, and down to his neck, hot kissed on his cold skin, gold butterflies that flew over his head and lit up a flame in his eyes and soul.
It then dawned to him. That he had this man forever, for him. He could be kissed by this man forever, he could kiss and worship this man forever and ever and forever until his lips got tired of kissing, until theyโฆ
โSan Lang.โ Xie Lian breathed gently over Hua Chengโs throat. โSpeak the truth.โ And this time, Hua Cheng just grinned and one of his hands went up and pulled at the elastic that was holding Xie Lianโs hair into place, dark locks falling and covering their faces like a curtain, hiding them form the world that feared their love.
โYou will never find a more honest person than me, I swear.โ Xie Lian, at this, laughed whole-heartedly and rolled next to Hua Cheng, intertwining their fingers together. Hua Cheng brought his beloved hand to his lips and kissed it.
โSan Lang, I am not boring you now, but what about the future? What ifโฆโ Xie Lian gulped and squeezed Hua Chengโs hand. Hua Cheng squeezed back. โWhat if youโll get tired of me?โ Hua Cheng, at this, he felt a mix of feeling pooling down in his gut anger and something else he could not really tell the origin of.
โDonโt you worry, gege, about that. Iโve waited for you for 800 years. I will never get tired of waiting for you, so even if you ever feel fit to distance yourself from me, I will accept it. I am your most devoted believer.โ He looked into his husbandโs eyes; crimson universes into golden ones; an explosion of colors and emotions. ย โBelieve in me, too.โ
And he closed his lips around his beloved ones. It was like the first time theyโve done this and Hua Cheng knew he would never get tired, could never get tired. Xie Lian made a soft sound, like he always does when they kiss and Hua Cheng dared to open his mouth more and lick a little at the otherโs lips.
It was like stars were exploding and were born again, were born anew. Such a feeling, to create again and again and to destroy and to rebuild was something Hua Cheng got to experience every day.
โI believe in you, San Lang.โ
How could he get bored of love?
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evidence of a lost past part 3
(chronologically before part 1 or part 2)
โXie-gege?โ Lang Ying calls from behind the cold storage. โYouโve got some friends here for you.โ Frowning, Xie Lian straightens up from where heโd been crouched to organize the oatmeal shelf and dusts his hands off on his jeans. He doesnโt really have friends, to say nothing of people who would surprise him at work. He steps around the shelving unit at the same time that Lang Ying brings the visitors through the crowded entry hall. Spotting them, Xie Lian freezes. Skepticism is painted in broad strokes across Lang Yingโs face as he looks up at the men beside him before turning toward Xie Lian. โSo,โ he starts, eyeing the two sidelong again. โNan Feng,โ Feng Xin blurts out, as if answering a question, โand Fu Yao.โ
Lang Yingโs eyes narrow a moment, but he just gives a slow nod. โIโll be in the pantry if you need anything, Xie-gege,โ he says. Xie Lian smiles reflexively, a silly sense of gratitude easing through him at Lang Yingโs quiet protectiveness. Aside from the cold storage, the pantry is the closest room to this back storage. โThanks, a-Ying,โ he says, waving him on. When heโs left, Xie Lian takes a bracing breath and turns to his old friends. He doesnโt know if thereโs a polite way to tell them that no one in this community center would recognize the names of ballet stars, no matter how prominent. If anything, their fake names andโฆdisguises make them far more suspicious: Mu Qing is wearing a suit, clearly tailored and accented with silver metallic embellishments, while Feng Xin wears a windsuit set that would better belong to a 90s boy band. โAh,โ Xie Lian says, struggling to think of anything to say, and rubs his forehead with the knuckle of his thumb. โHi.โ โYou work in this place?โ Mu Qing demands. His arms are crossed, bunching up his jacket, and the tail of his long ponytail catches on his shoulder. The last few inches are a surprising platinum blond, and Xie Lian vaguely recalls hearing something about a commercial deal last year or so. โWhy do you have to say it like that?โ Feng Xin demands. โSo what if he works here? What do you have against aโaโฆโ โCommunity center,โ Xie Lian offers when itโs clear he doesnโt know what to call it. โAnd I do. Puqiโs been my home for the past year or so.โ Feng Xinโs face does something complicated at that which Xie Lian can no longer wholly read. He thinks part of it at least is embarrassment, which is alright. It must be strange for them, to see him here in jeans stained with gravel dust around the knees and a t-shirt with a tubby cartoon tiger declaring โSTRIPES ARE BEAUTIFUL.โ โHere, would you rather sit? There are some chairs in the lounge we could pull in,โ he says. The lounge isnโt really a lounge so much as the storage room for donated furniture. Still, sometimes he and Lang Ying will take a breather back there and split a sweet bun from the bakery down the block, and it feels like a secret spot just for the staff. โNo,โ Mu Qing says immediately. His lip has pulled back a little, as if disgusted by the prospect. โWe arenโt staying.โ Oh. Xie Lian canโt quite help the disappointment that sinks through his chest at that. Itโs not like he expected them to stay or try to be friends again, not after how he left things, butโwell, with them coming here, heโd almost thoughtโ โOh, thatโs alright,โ he says with a bright smile. โIs there something I can help you with?โ The two of them share a look that Xie Lian really canโt read at all. Back when he left, Feng Xin had only been speaking to Mu Qing to tell him to fuck off, and they certainly hadnโt been sharing any meaningful looks unless they were glares. Itโsโฆitโs good, that theyโve found a friend in each other. He wishes theyโd gotten along better when they were young, but itโs nice that they can be friends now. โJun Wu said you were here,โ Feng Xin says, grudging, dropping his gaze. โAnd we justโwell, itโs been a long time. Figured we should check on you.โ That phrase again. Eight years feels like a millennium, long enough that his past life feels more dreamlike than real most days. Long enough he certainly wouldnโt expect them to check in on him. He smiles. โAh, thatโs very kind of you,โ he says, โbut thereโs no need to worry. Iโm quite well, and you two must be so busy. Rehearsals for Nutcracker must have started by now, havenโt they?โ He remembers when they were all young and dragging through endless rehearsals, when Feng Xin would grumble about having Tchaikovskyโs score stuck on his head all hours of the day and Mu Qing would scowl at him from across the costumes he helped sew as an after school job. โYeah,โ Feng Xin says. โThey have. We get Sundays off for now.โ Xie Lian nods, maintaining his polite smile. Heโs really not sure what they want from him or why theyโve stopped by. This stilted half-conversation canโt actually be it. โYou really live like this?โ Mu Qing demands. โPuttering around this concrete floor, looking likeโฆthat.โ Blinking once, Xie Lian folds his hands together and firms his spine. Heโs gotten used to the trajectory of his life by now, and it doesnโt bother him even if no one else understands it. He knows why heโs here, knows he made the right choice for himself. Before he can answer, the bell over the front door chimes, and bootheels clip across the concrete floor. Thereโs a polite rap at the doorframe leading into the storage area where only employees are allowed. โGege?โ Xie Lian flushes at the way Mu Qing and Feng Xin stiffen and whip around toward the door and silently exhales a breath of relief at Hua Chengโs timing. Probably his arrival wonโt make it less awkward, but heโd rather have Hua Cheng here than handle this alone, even if that makes him a coward. โAh San Lang, come in,โ he calls. โThere are just a couple visitors.โ โSan Lang?โ Feng Xin echoes, twisting to gawk at the door. Itโs obvious the moment he spots Hua Cheng, because his entire back goes tight and still, and Mu Qing bristles like a cat, fingers digging into his jacket sleeves. Hua Cheng passes around the far wall of shelves and doesnโt pause even as he gives the two of them a quick, unimpressed once-over. โHey gege,โ he greets, brushing past them to smile at Xie Lian. Xie Lian canโt help returning the look, delight bubbling up in him at the easy happiness Hua Cheng wears in his expression. โHi San Lang,โ he replies. โThese two areโum. Nan Feng and Fu Yao. Oldโฆschool friends of mine.โ Hua Cheng doesnโt bother looking at them before turning to Xie Lian with an eyebrow arched as if to ask โare you serious?โ Xie Lian is helpless to respond except for a casual shrug. If Feng Xin and Mu Qing insist on using false names, heโll respect their wishes no matter how nonsensical it seems. โYouโ!โ Feng Xin hisses, hands balled up into fists at his sides. โMe,โ Hua Cheng agrees flatly. โGege, are these new volunteers? I bet that one could sweep out the storage rooms while I take you to get lunch.โ At the obvious look Hua Cheng sends him, Mu Qingโs lips pull back in blatant disgust and indignation. Biting his lip, Xie Lian holds in laughter. It isnโt nice to tease like that, butโwell, it is kind of nice to have someone willing to do it for him. โAh thereโs no need,โ he says quickly. โThey were just stopping by to say hi.โ He thinks. Heโs still not really sure whatโs going on here. โOh?โ Hua Cheng says. โSo youโre leaving, then.โ He says it straight to Feng Xin and Mu Qing, and despite their spluttering, Xie Lian has to hold in a startled laugh. He tugs gently at Hua Chengโs elbow. โSan Lang,โ he scolds without any heat. The grin Hua Cheng tosses him is carefree and boyish, and it makes something funny and bright burst in Xie Lianโs chest. Maybe itโs alright to tease a little, if it earns him such cute looks. โFine,โ Mu Qing says. โWhatever. I have work to do.โ He pivots on his heel and starts stalking toward the door without waiting to see if Feng Xin is following. Left behind, Feng Xin hesitates a moment, lips parted as if to speak. Finally, he swallows and purses his lips. โJustโbe careful, okay?โ he says like an order instead of a request. โIf you need anythingโI mean. I still have the same phone number.โ A softer smile slips across Xie Lianโs lips at that, and he gives a little nod. โMe, too,โ he admits. โBe safe getting home.โ Feng Xin grunts and waffles a moment longer before hurrying after Mu Qing, his windsuit pants rustling away. Xie Lian can hear him all the way to the door. When the bell chimes, he sighs and turns back to see Hua Cheng leaning against the corner of the wall with his eye narrowed in amusement. โYou get such interesting visitors, gege,โ he says cheerfully. โSan Lang ah,โ Xie Lian complains, helpless. Itโs impossible to feel at all cross when the whole situation was so absurd and Hua Cheng seems so childishly pleased. His grin broadens and turns brighter, more honest, as Xie Lian finally lets himself laugh at it all. โAh, enough,โ Xie Lian says, covering his eyes briefly. Shaking his head, he drops his hand. โHave you eaten? I brought some leftovers we could share, if you want.โ โGegeโs cooking?โ Hua Cheng asks, offering out his arm like a gentleman. โIt must be my lucky day.โ Xie Lian laughs at that, bright and easy, and lets himself be led.
#tgcf#tgcf fic#heaven official's blessing#hob fic#tgcf au#dance au#xie lian#hua cheng#feng xin#mu qing#my writing#story: evidence of a lost past#guess where i spent my evening#anyway#making fun of fengqing is very fun
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Hi again....Do you mind if I ask a few questions?
Who is your fav main couple in mxtx novels (wangxian or hualian or bingqiu)? And why?
Who is your favorite love interest in MXTX three novels (luo binghe, lan wangji, or hua cheng)? And why?
And who is your favorite protagonist in MXTX three novels (shen qingqiu, wei wuxian or xie lian)? And why?
Sorry if you've answered this question before....
Fav Main Couple:
Emotionally, Wangxian bc sentimental reasons of reading it first. Objectively Hualian bc I love the sheer beatnik energy of Xie Lian being the prototype perfect model for Heaven Official as per JWโs wishes and then after graduating being all like โNope, I donโt wanna climb the corporate ladder dad! I wanna go on the road and meet the real ppl and their struggles and explore the land!โ... and then he meets his hot biker bad boy anarchist mafia boss boyfriend and all of evil wall street dadโs plans for him go to shit...and thatโs beautiful.
Fav Love Interest:
Lan Wanji: I like tsundere disasters. LBH is too puppy love, HC is too cool (and secretly such an otaku lol). LWJ is the one who is constantly, silently, screwing up and freaking out about it. He is the messiest one and I love him. Also, and I know Iโm in the minority here, characters whose only focus in life is their love interest lowkey freak me out. I mean, in fiction and if they are one of the MCโs itโs romantic, but imagine if itโs one sided...yikes. HC has a whole realm under his command but that is barely brought up in the novel (and they could elaborate on that, the thing is huge), LBH does everything for Shizun. LWJ is the only one who has more loyalties to consider, and while that is one of the things that holds him back and might contribute to the tragedy in MDZS, it also makes him the most interesting character. He has his brother and uncle, later on he has Shizui, and his actions, both when he holds back bc of his sect/family and when he chooses WWX over all of them...it has a lot more weight because he is the one out of the 3 MLโs whose choices come at bigger personal cost.
Fav Protagonist:
Wei Wu Xian: Heโs the personification of disaster and that makes him so relatable. BQ is like a sassy best friend you love. XL is adorable and the type of character you want to hug and protect, but heโs not relatable, bc nobody is that kind and giving.
ย WWX with his sense of justice, his rash decisions he eventually regrets (or not), his terrible memory, his adhd, his intentional flirting with ppl he doesnโt really want anything with just for the fun of it, and his โunintentionalโ flirting with the one he does, his obliviousness to love, his tendency to say everything is fine when it clearly isnโt, and the way he clearly avoids thinking about stuff as a coping mechanism, also the way he can stand up and speak his mind and be powerful to strangers but just lays down and takes all the verbal abuse from ppl closer to him (oh boy do I relate to this...not to my family thankfully, but I am usually such an outspoken person and then I let some โsuperiorsโ at work step all over me bc I donโt like confrontation and want to get along with everyone on my daily life)...and of course thereโs the wholeย โI tried so hard to do things right, how did I end up ruining everything?โ...There is just a lot of relatable and lovable things about WWX and his hopelessness does hit an emotional chord bc I think everyone has tried their best at some point in their lives and then had things turn out awful....and afterwards having to get up and move on. And yes, itโs all very wuxia and metaphorical, but all his attitudes post resurrection are so relatable: being ashamed, not wanting to be found by anyone he knew, later on after he was found just not wanting to talk about it and rather pretend it didnโt happen. Even the fact that the story ends and him and Jiang Cheng still arenโt ready to put it all behind them is relatable. Thereโs some relationships, some people, itโs going to take more time and more than one hard talk to fix things with. (See why I love WWX? his character makes me go all sappy and meta deep. I guess some of the stuff I said is also true for XL but he is like Jesus and I am much to petty to relate to him.)
#tian guan ci fu#mo dao zu shi#scumbag self saving system#svsss#heaven official's blessing#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#the untamed#cnovels#cdrama
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ok so 2ha. vague spoilers ahead (important spoilers are warned but watch out)
thatโs a solid 4.5/5 for me. this novel RUINED me and I loved it for it. it made me feel like very few novels (and even stories in general) did. today Iโm STILL shaken over a part of it that I read two days ago, despite the happy ending. I have A Lot of thoughts (shout-out to @whateverwuxianโ who can testify that I couldnโt shut up about it, love you buddy!!) so I just went ahead and [gestures below]
starting with the negative so we can enjoy all the positive later. feel free to discuss but Iโm extra sensitive and these are only my personal feelings so they probably wonโt change anyway, so be nice please!
what I didn't like:
too many r*pe scenes. I get that the non-con """makes sense""" narratively and thematically but like. they didn't have to be explicit. at the very least not all of them. sorry but too much is too much. there are more non-con sex scenes/flashbacks than consensual sex scenes! stop! we get it! enough now!
not a fan of a 26yo falling in love with a 16yo. if cwn had initiated Anything I wouldโve thrown the novel out the window. but thankfully it didnโt happen, I got invested, and nothing mutual happened until mo ran was 22, so I mostly got over it, but Iโm still somewhat uncomfortable with it for very personal reasons.
their first time putting it in. it felt so unfair and I was very upset over it. it couldโve worked without going There? why. was that necessary. and it's heartbreaking for both of them, because mo ran didn't want to do it either. he wanted them to take all their time. he wanted to go step by step. all he wanted was to make sure cwn would be happy and comfortable and never hurt again in bed. for their first time that way he wanted it to be special. but it was just. taken away from them, and for what? for nothing thereโs absolutely no reason for it. I get thereโs the metaphorical foreshadowing of the upcoming reveal aspect (spoilers) both of them not consenting, mo ran being horrified -> the reveal that mo ran was cursed and so wouldโve never wanted to treat cwn like this in the past either if heโd had control (end spoilers) but still?? and itโs never brought up again? I know they donโt get the time until the very end but hhhh. yeah I have Feelings over this
some plot twists hit good emotionally but had no point? thinking of the one about xue meng here.
thereโs horny, and then thereโs mo ran. itโs not a bad thing, itโs just not the kind of stuff I like reading about and book 1 and 2 are A Lot on that side so in book 2 after a while ME, THE BIGGEST ASEXUAL WHO COULDNโT CARE LESS ABOUT SEX SCENES, WAS LIKE, โoh my god have mercy please just fuck already I beg of youโ and indeed they chilled a bit after that. like they were still horny but. less intensely and less all the fucking time. thank god (I still think the farm arc was hilarious to witness though, and I did love it)
kinda wish their reunion at the end was longer and more emotional but thatโs just because I love that shit
(spoilers)ย kinda wish we got to see shi mei again before he went off doing his blind wandering doctor stuff. a talk with ranwan wouldโve been very interesting. (end spoilers)
xue meng didnโt get a hug
that one thing at the end you know the one. maybe I'd be more into it if it'd been given time to be explored seriously and wasn't played off as a joke. it kinda ruined the mood of their last scene for me. (spoilers spoilers spoilers this is the end of this section if you donโt want to get spoiled) in that scene I wanted chu wanning to ride off into the sunset with mo ran, not txj. like, txj is the alternate worldโsย โif there had been no transmigrationโ version of mo ran 2.0. the whole point is that mo ran IS txj in book 1, but changes and becomes mo ran 2.0. mo ran 2.0, who by the end of the novel has already done all the redemption and deconstruction of his dubious habits. who he was as txj is long behind him. at this point txj will always be a part of who he was, but they are pretty much two 'different' people now. txj disappearing into dust after everything that happens at the end was beautiful symbolism. it meant something. to me there was no point keeping txj around after all that other than for โhaha split personalities fighting over cwnโs attention uwuโ THAT SAID the fact I'm not a fan of the idea doesn't mean I don't like txj. I care txj a lot and have Emotions over him, and I will definitely eventually explore this in my writing
(still spoilers) the demonic blood reveal was a bit.... deus ex machina? plus I personally would've preferred mo ran staying a regular person (end spoilers)
alright what I liked now:
the themes, both regarding the characters and the various plot elements. this novel really challenges your morals and what you think is right or wrong, whatโs redeemable, whatโs punishable, and how much one relies on first impressions, amongst other things. this novel is the definition ofย โdonโt judge a book by its coverโ but alsoย โlook further than the first pageโ in so many ways
the romance. like I donโt need to say anything there. just, the slow burn, the longing, the yearning, the romance [clutches heart]
the plot twists/reveals. Iโm so glad I was barely spoiled (I was spoiled two Big things but very vaguely so I was still surprised) because pretty much all of them had me shouting โWHATโ and/or gaping and/or various โwhat the fuck!!!โ/โholy SHITโ/โNOโ reactions
the way a lot of those reveals just completely change your view on things/characters?? thatโs my jam
wontons. that was the first time I cried and my first very physical reaction to an event in this novel. I literally felt like time froze. I heard my heart beating. it was painful but AMAZING.
might be nothing in the grand scheme of things but honestly, all the food! I love that mo ran is an excellent cook and can make all those delicious dishes for cwn. as someone who loves to cook for their loved ones I think itโs so lovely that he gets to do that
the character growth. for everyone, but mo ran in particular? like I just. I started off not liking mo ran very much, straight up despising him at times, and in the end I was fucking sobbing over him and cried myself to sleep only to wake up in the middle of the night to cry some more so thereโs that
chu wanning? there were aspects of him that I related to heavily, and that felt both like the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known and very special because it doesnโt happen to me that often
the whole deaging arc. that was deaging done right and it had a purpose in the narrative and their relationship growth, I was โ!!!!โ
I LOVE how they took their time with EVERYTHING once they got together? that it spanned over several weeks? that it started with the confession, then just holding hands, then kissing, then making out, then sex, and even the sex was step by step! it said A LOT about mo ranโs character growth and it respected SO MUCH the fact that cwn is a 32yo (unrelated but (spoilers)ย I like to argue that yeah heโs been alive for 32 years but when youโve been asleep and not aging physically nor growing mentally for five years in a way that makes you a 27yo. so when he calls his body โmature and oldโ and compares himself to shi mei Iโm just. buddy your body is just three years older than shi meiโs thereโs barely any difference in maturity right there. I know itโs your lack of self-worth speaking, and believe me I get it, but donโt be so hard on yourself. (end spoilers) anyway, this is an unimportant and unrelevant thought that I had during the mirror scene) who has no experience in any of these things whatsoever. he's not pushed into sex like he's going to be comfortable right off the bat and like it isnโt such a big change in a life thatโs been ascetic so far. mo ran is aware of that! and when they have their first time mo ran, whoโs been maybe even more horny than cwn all this time - seriously horny is that guyโs middle name, who initiated the sex, what does he say!!! "don't worry about me, tonight, I just want to make you feel good"??? mo ran?? your character development??? I appreciated that so much.
the pain. Iโm still bleeding on the floor despite the happy ending but yeah. I like angst and I was not disappointed. it didnโt feel that gratuitious to me, more like, brutally honest? I donโt cry that easily but by the end I think Iโd cried, what, close to ten times??
quite a few excellent quotes [lies down] โI realized - I had grown into the you in my heartโ?? โhell is too coldโ??? I highlighted more but those two are the ones that always come to my mind first
most of the time the flashbacks were perfectly inserted for maximum emotional damage and I respect that skill
xue zhengyong. like heโs not my favourite, my favourites are xue meng, nangong si and ye wangxi but? I just adored him so he gets a special mention
the side characters? like, I legit loved Everyone? when I cry over side characters you know itโs serious
THE CONFESSION SCENE. LIKE. HOLY SHIT MY HEART. it comes reaaally close to the vocal one (because hua cheng confesses so many times without words) at the end of tgcf for me. it was beautiful. I was so emotional. the fact that cwn can't say it no matter how much he feels it. like it's always been plain and clear just how much he loves mo ran. but he can't say the words yet and I just. the fact that mo ran gets it? that he doesn't need the words, just that squeeze of fingers, just what cwn is, at that moment, able to give him, and it doesn't mean less to him than words would? it hit home real hard
unless I think of something else, thatโs about it! I canโt recommend 2ha enough, that said, I beg of you, heed the warnings. they are NOT overstated. and even if there were no warnings, take care anyways. the angst is serious, it haunts you. angst always makes me feel like my chest is being squeezed and thatโs precisely the feeling Iโm looking for when I choose to read angst. I have good tolerance to it, so despite not doing entirely well lately, I thought I was tough and went for it, but Iโm a CLOWN. the way itโs written ruins you. this morning despite reading the hardest part of the angst on saturday evening, I still had some physical chest pain. so I recommend it with all my heart, but take care of yourselves. 2ha doesnโt fuck around.
#2ha#bee talks#i will probably tweak and add to this post over time because I probably forgot stuff#anyways I'm gonna go lie down and cry over ranwan as I think about my fic ideas#2ha review
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Post pictures of your first ever (fictional/celeb) crush to the latest one and tag five others to continue the game.
Ali tagged me, thanks. I guess ๐ @lanzhansmilesโ
Aโight so Iโm simply taking this as an opportunity to show off my frankly impeccable taste ๐ *coughs into the crook of my elbow with my mask on and from a safe distance* More under the cut, godspeed!
Iโm tagging uhh I really donโt want to expose anyone but uh. @morifinwesโ @ttaechwitaโ @sunshine304โ @treemaidengeekโ @flamingwellโ no pressure tho!!
Since 2006
Janina Fautz: Die Wilden Kerle, anyone?? Tbh i had a crush on quite a lot of the characters/actors but in hindsight Janina was and is the most influential one. Also probably my first ever girl crush (again, in hindsight bc it took me until 3 years ago to finally find out iโm queer lol)
Eva-Maria May: Yeah well Iโm not gonna talk about where I know her from letโs say it was an incredibly bad soap opera my mom used to watch. She was one of the reasons why I went Yeah I Have Always Been Into Girls. I was pretty obsessed with her to the point where mini me secretly printed out a photo of her to look at lmaooo the signs have always been there and itโs truly amazing how I had been missing them for years
Amy Adams: Her as Amelia Earhart in Night at the Museum was also definitely a huge Thing to young me. Again, I had been completely oblivious about this crush for years
David Luiz: HAH! This is the point where we do NOT get into my football/soccer crushes bc this list would get WAYYY too long hahaha. I had to cut loads of people from my list for this post bc I develop a new celebrity crush every 5 minutes basically but yeah. David Luiz was definitely my biggest football/soccer crush out of..... everyone else
M*rvel
I donโt have a lot to say about any of them since Iโm not into m*rvel anymore TFATWS makes me want to stick the tip of my toe back into m*rvel waters but otherwise NO THANKS
Sebastian Stan was, if my judgement of my archive is right, the longest highkey celebrity crush Iโve ever had. Mostly because I love Bucky a lot and he was so amazing in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. I mustโve had a crush on him for as long as I had been in the m*rvel fandom
Recent Past
some celeb crushes from last year that were all more or less short-lived tbh
Ester Expรณsito: As it often goes I didnโt find her spectacular in the beginning but as รlite went on I started to develop a huge crush on her. I still find her pretty hot but Iโm not invested in รlite so yeah..... I have no object permanence
Mina El Hammani: Got to know her through รlite, too. Sheโs so incredibly beautiful. Had a hard time choosing a photo of her bc Iโd stare at every single one for ages. Wow.
Danger Days!Gerard Way: Hah! The ones of you whoโve been following me for longer might remember my posts about wanting to dye my hair neon red. Well, himโs the reason and also clinical depression. Ended up with natural red/ginger bc my hair is too thin for bleaching lel. ANYWAY
Maxence Danet Fauvel: Pretty short-lived crush from my Skam days
Ramy Moharam Fouad: So Ramy has a brother, Tamino-Amir Moharam Fouad, who makes INCREDIBLE music. Ramy made some of his music videos (directed them? not sure), thatโs how he came to my attention. Idk man heโs just so incredibly beautiful.... gives me a hint of genvy, too......
Janelle Monรกe: Became a fan when Make Me Feel came out, listened to the entire album for days and eventually inevitably crushed on her
Lera Abova: Saw her in ANะะ and fell in love. I screamed to my friends for weeks about how she was the most beautiful human being Iโd ever seen etc etc. Eventually my crush went away mostly, but I still think sheโs stunning
Keiynan Lonsdale: Keiynan said FUCK gender and I said ๐๐๐ and thatโs all you need to know.
Current
*deep breath* alright letโs gooo
Bright (Wachirawit Chivaaree): Crushed on him for as long as I watched 2gether/Still 2gether lmao. I still like him a lot and sometimes lose my mind over him but Iโm not exceptionally Thirstyโข
Tul (Pakorn Thanasrivanitchai) and Max (Nattapol Diloknawarit): If you search either of them on tumblr you will have to scroll for a long, long time to find seperate photos of them. However, Iโm not patient enough so here we are. Re: Tul, actually I want to copy/paste what Ali said bc DAMN a man who is confident about his masculinity and sexuality really is kinda hot. Same goes for Max tbh. Also Maxโ lips look so soft I [redacted]
Lukas von Horbatschewsky: Also known as Lukas Alexander. He did an amazing job in Druck and heโs just a person I admire in general. As one of the few out trans actors in Germany, he had a main role as a trans boy in Druck and also co-wrote Druckโs seasons 5 and 6. Heโs just a huge role model to me and, apart from that, Big Crush Material (h i sย e y e s)
Li Wei: Someone suggested him as Hua Cheng for the TGCF live action and my life hasnโt been the same since. While Iโm open for whoever will get that role in the end, I could look at his face for hours and not get bored. Major Genvy, too.
Li BoWen and Liu HaiKuan: I will have to deal with these two in one paragraph bc LanLan bc they have the exact same effect on me which is. that theyโre not 100% my type but I WILL go absolutely feral about them at regular intervals, if you know what I mean
Song JiYang: ohh honey. oh honey.......... hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I have a natural affinity for aquarius ppl and this one lives in my heart rent free. Iโd even make him soup if heโd ask.
Wang YiBo: WELL HOLY SHIT. listen. LISTEN! the hype around him is 100% justified imo he really is That Bitch and I love him so so much for it. Fucking ICON
Honorary Mentions: Gender Envy
Hereโs to the People I Thought I Had A Crush On But Not Quite until I learned the word Gender Envy:
Zhu YiLong: Man, this is the person whoโs mainly responsible for me finding out AT ALL about not being entirely cis. The POWER he holds!!! His performance as Ye Zun in Guardian was like a breakthrough point for me which. certain people witnessed in real time hahaha oh I love this fandom!!
Zhu ZanJin: HIM. AAAH!! Heโs literally so beautiful and whenever I see him I just go ZANZAN!! in my head and in the tags bc. well. hIM.
Xiao Zhan With Long Hair: Look, Xiao Zhan is always amazing but BLESS the person who made these manips. I can finally rest.
Wang YiBo: uhh whatโs he doing here again?? Tbh YiBo is one of the few, if not the only person that gives me Major Gender Envy that I would also [redacted] if they asked. Do I want to be him or be with him? The answer is Yes.
I skipped the fictional characters bc I tend not to crush on them ๐๐ Instead I will just directly crush on the actors/actresses lol!
Thank you for bearing with me. As a prize, you can choose between a ladder supported forehead kiss, or a bowl of homemade soup. โค
#[brother this took so fucking long]#[it was fun to reminisce but please never ask me to do this again โค]#[sorry if anything doesn't make sense. i'm very tired my sleep schedule is fucked up and i have a major headache โค]#[thanks ali for the tag it was really really fun!]#[also i think it's kinda sexy of me not to be ashamed of any of these. does therapy work? maybe so]#about#tag game#ali tag#r.txt
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i have reread tgcf for 2 times alr but there has been this one thought in my mind for quite some time and i was wondering if you can share your thoughts on this : why did dianxia fall in love with his hua cheng? (thank you in advance for answering
Sorry for taking so long to answer Anon! I wanted to do right by this question (and also I've been studying--or, attempting to.... And of course Fafa's birthday and all)! Giant answer ahead.
So I think first we need to break down the very philosophical question of what "love" is. I don't want to get too deep into that, but fundamentally: love is emotional intimacy which is built upon the pillars of affection, respect, loyalty, and trust.
Speaking strictly from Xie Lian's side, he feels all of this towards Hua Cheng. To him, Hua Cheng is someone trustworthy and reliable. Hua Cheng is also someone who makes him laugh, and is an equal (in terms of both skill and intellect) with whom he can hold a deep conversation on just about any topic of their choosing. Hua Cheng in return respects him, trusts him, never belittles him. They communicate well, and have similar viewpoints and temperaments. Personality wise, they are good compliments rather than being direct opposites.
Basically, Hua Cheng is someone with whom Xie Lian feels safe--physically and emotionally.
This is sort of what... most people looking for love are after, simply put.
Xie Lian also tells us what he really wants in book 3: for someone to know his everything (his past and all the things he's gone through), and for that person to not judge him. For that person to see him for who he is, and still be able to love him regardless.
But Xie Lian is not the type of person who would actually reveal the horrors of his past to anyone, so he is sort of working against himself here. There is a part of Xie Lian who feels that he is unloveable, and more over, unworthy of love because of what he has done. Even so, he yearns for it anyway. A beautiful dream that he thinks he could never have.
How serendipitous for him that there happens to be someone (Hua Cheng) who actually DOES know his Everything, and loves every part of him. Including all the ugly bits Xie Lian wishes he could erase! Hua Cheng loves Xie Lian in exactly the way Xie Lian has always hoped for: completely, and without judgement.
"What matters is you and not the state of you." That's the crux of their relationship, after all.
This, combined with how Hua Cheng teats Xie Lian kindly, and makes him laugh--well. How do you NOT fall in love with someone like that?
I haven't even talked about the fact that Xie Lian is also very much sexually attracted to Hua Cheng right from the start. We can't discount that. His appearance, his demeanor, etc. It's a direct hit to all of Xie Lian's weak points, and it definitely lowers his guard. Hua Cheng and the (very specific) vibe he gives off is exactly Xie Lian's type. The courteous bad boy with a heart of gold. ;)
While they do have many differences, Xie Lian still feels like he and Hua Cheng are kindred spirits. He even identifies that Hua Cheng has his own insecurities and sense of loneliness, to which Xie Lian relates.
Xie Lian also respects and cherishes Hua Cheng in return. He knows that while Hua Cheng may have some extreme methods, the ghost king is ultimately fair. Xie Lian knows of Hua Cheng's many accomplishments and he's quite in awe of this. In short, he also finds Hua Cheng to be an amazing person--someone he genuinely wants to spend time with.
Xie Lian and Hua Cheng are also both the type to love with their whole heart, with no room for anyone else. They just work really well together.
So to reiterate the earlier question: how do you NOT fall in love with someone who understands you, makes you feel happy and safe, and who cherishes you tenderly? Who also happens to match your skill and intellect level, shares your viewpoints, is absolutely gorgeous, and to top it all off--very clearly has a thing for you too?
TLDR; Mutual affection, respect, loyalty, and trust. Mix it all up to get stellar chemistry, and you have a recipe for love. By this, itโs easy to see why Xie Lian would fall so deeply and irreversibly for his Hua Cheng!
Thank you so much for sending this ask, I know I kinda got carried away because Hualian just makes me like that! xD
If anyone else has asks about TGCF, please do send them in!
๏พ+๏ฝก:.๏พใฝ(*ยดโ`)๏พ๏พ.:๏ฝก+๏พ
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more tgcf chapters 143-173 lets goooooo
PEI MING BOO HISS except actually okay heโs mostly funny i think but still boo hiss
โhey whoโs this guy whoโs really pissed at you?โ โoh thats my sword. i broke it.โ alright then!
i think i need to go back and reread the banyue pass arc bc im still confused as to whats going on with banyue and pei su
โBanyue dropped from the sky with two pots raised. Without a word, she plummeted with the mouths of the pots facing down, trapping and detaining the shocked Mingโguang and the roaring Ke Mo within.โ - THATS MY GIRL
โIt must be known that, to heavenly officials, it certainly was more than natural for kingdoms of the mortal realm to fight and annihilate one another; the acts of these plays progressing on endlessly. But when it came their own turn, it was often hard to let things go. If one must stand in the same court as the one who annihilated their own kingdom, and that man cavorted in the heavens, exceedingly flashy, then it must be vexing.โ - hmmmm!!
โIโve spoken too many words in this lifetime. What are you referring to?โ - okay to be fair thats a mood
okay its nice to get some pei ming backstory and its funny that he and xie lian are bonding but also still whenever pei ming interacts with a female character my hackles rise like a cat lol
โXie Lian watched as Banyue thought really hard before cheerfully pulling out a few long, wine-red scorpion-snakes, and putting them into the bubbling pot.โ - THATS MY GIRL
โAlthough โsmellโ was something colourless and formless, the instant Banyue removed the pot cover, it was as if some mysterious physical object had twisted all the air around the mouth of that pot. The group stared at the sight within the pot for a long time. Their pupils reflected an endless, bottomless darkness; like it could pull them into the abyss. No words could describe the sentiment expressed within their eyes. A moment later, Xie Lian patted Banyueโs shoulder and gave a thumbs-up.โ - like father-figure like daughter-figure. amazing.
โHowever, what if one day mortals discovered something completely new that ran faster than horses? Then, when this new invention overtook horses, worshippers of this heavenly official who controlled horses would inevitably decrease. Such heavenly officials, flashing by like shooting stars, made up the majority of the heavens.โ - obsessed with this, genuinely. life and change. worship and its purpose. my religious studies diploma on my wall is screaming at me rn. ALSO i am once again thinking about celebrities
โ...โ It was only then that Pei Ming seemed to notice, and started to contemplate this question. A moment later, he answered, โA habit. In a dark, creepy place like this, isnโt it normal to hold women in your arms, to comfort them and calm their fears?โ โIโm sorry, but I wasnโt scared,โ Banyue said.โ - BANYUE I LOVE YOU. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. god this takes me back to every college party i ever went to
LING WEN BACKSTORY????? shoeseller chosen for godhood bc she wrote a political essay and got arrested...... and now sheโs face to face with the official who appointed her..... do go on.....
โLing Wen laughed out loud, seeming to be enraged, and her voice dropped. โVery well! You said I couldnโt reach that high. Then, might I ask you: had the prominence of the Palace of Jing Wen at its peak ever reached even the knees of my Palace of Ling Wen??โ - GET HIM!!!! BOO HISS JING WEN
โCompared to you, Iโm not that bad,โ Ling Wen said. โYouโd personally order me to stay in the Palace of Jing Wen until midnight, then turn around and say I shamelessly hang around โtil late to harass you. Words murder without form; I was much nicer responding with blatant violence.โ - ling wen im love you..... also this bit... feels Real
BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN!! FLOWER PETALS TRANSFORMATION!!! see hua cheng? look as how cool it can be when you leave the story for a little while!! bc then you get to return and make an entrance!!
โNot only can you bring forth bloody rain, you can also make flowers shower. I didnโt know that. How fun!โ - cute!! and in that moment we were all xie lian
โEveryone was stunned by his deed, and Ling Wen arduously gave him a thumbs-up. โOlโ Pei, what a man!โ Pei Ming gritted his teeth. โWELCOME!โ - aww three two tumors buddies!!
okay yin yu is here and xie lian did the equivalent of asking someone when the baby is due only to find out theyre not pregnant at all. then rong guang taunts yin yu and no one says anything. i do love the amount of awkward moments in this book tbh sometimes there are no words.
โAll around was sand and mud crushing at him, exceedingly suffocating. The sand and mud was also moving endlessly; the feeling was like he was swallowed into the stomach of a giant monster, and that monster had also eaten a bunch of other things besides him, tumbling everything in its stomach, trying to digestโ - ooooh creepy!!! the red string thing... is cute.... also xie lian being able to see hua chengโs butterfly vision by looking directly into his eye is kinda cool. and obviously homoerotic.
โAre lower-ranked heavenly officials below other people?โ Quan Yizhen asked. โNo,โ Yin Yu replied. Were they not? It was obvious that he himself didnโt believe in his own words, and Quan Yizhen also noticed. A good while later, he said bluntly, โI donโt like it here.โ Yin Yu said nothing.โ - im having emotions. and then yin yu also saying he doesnt like it there either.... also idk how this scene is going to play out but as much as im enjoying quan yizhen being an icon i can also possibly see how yin yu could eventually get to the point of โi am tired of being nice. i do just want to go apeshitโ even if he really cares about qyz. it happens </3
โIndeed,โ Hua Cheng said. โHalf a year later when Quan Yizhen actually ascends, he wonโt find it so funny anymore.โ โCan we watch that part too?โ Xie Lian asked. โWe can. Hold on,โ Hua Cheng replied.โ - quan yizhen king of taking things literally. also why did this turn into hualian having a movie night
jian yu seems like the kind of asshole who would purposely give someone regular soda when they specifically asked for diet soda. god yin yu is really having a bad day i really feel for him in the whole situation with the brocade immortal
awww okay at least jian yu tried to take responsibility. im still mad at him tho that was objectively a terrible idea. god this whole situation sucked :(
โRocks and earth crushed at them from all around, forcing their bodies to press tightly against one another, their faces brushing, their ears warm. Although it wasnโt the right time, a thought flashed through Xie Lianโs mind: โโTo die buried togetherโ doesnโt feel so bad.โ - okay... im kind of emotional.... gay people....
okay obviously these murals and the prince of wuyong have some connection (im guessing pretty direct) to xie lian and are important but everytime they start analyzing one i feel like im back in art history class fhadskfhskjdhf not that thats a bad thing!! i liked art history a lot tbh
โDonโt worry, theyโre not human,โ Hua Cheng said. โItโs precisely because theyโre not human that we have to worry, alrightโฆ.โ Xie Lian thought.โ - goth ghost bf problems
xie lian: well, there is one person i trust more than anyone else, someone whoโs first in my mind hua cheng, oblivious: oh :/ xie lian, also oblivious: what? hua cheng: you shouldnt trust so easily its dangerous xie lian: oh. haha. yeah. well. wanna,,, know who it is? hua cheng: its :) fine :) it :) doesnt :) matter :) but of course you can tell me if you want to gege xie lian, internally: well now ive made it weird hua cheng, 5 minutes later: actually i need you to tell me. right now. its totally for your security me: gay people smh
โAs they suspected, he had been captured by Qi Rong. Although no one was bound by ropes, there were balls of greasily green ghost fires hovering over every one of their heads.โ - completely off track but anybody else remember the great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts song
โCould there actually come a day when Qi Rong was embarrassed that someone might see the manner in which he ate? Before Xuan Ji entered, she put Guzi down. Guzi, ta-ta-ta, ran in, rushing straight to Qi Rongโs side. But when he saw him, he pointed his finger. He cried, โDad is eating bad things in secret again!โ โIโm not!โ Qi Rong retaliated.โ SCREAM IS QI RONG LEARNING THE POWER OF LOVE NOOOO also god that poor man whose body he has im starting to doubt if heโll ever be free jimmy novak flashbacks
everytime we get another ghost king power somewhere someone should be writing hua cheng the cyborg bf in a high tech futuristic au i think thats the only other potential setting that could truly capture this wild ride
โIn truth, throughout history, there was no man in the world who didnโt love bragging. A breeze could blow the handkerchief of a brothel girl into a manโs hand, and he would turn around and say the most beautiful of renowned escorts had fallen in love with him; holding shoes and wiping benches for the emperorโs mistressโs uncleโs grandsonโs cousinโs mistress would for sure become him being an important administrator at the residence of royal relatives, raising his status. Thus, men who didnโt brag were a rare species.โ - SCREAM this is going in my favorite tgcf quotes folder god... mxtx come here let me shake your hand
read the story of rain master yushi huangโs ascension. why am i crying. also this bit im crying again me with my stuffed animals โThus, while Yushi Huang was cultivating at the Temple of Yulong, every time when she went to seek water and passed that door, she would rub the head of that ox. The door knocker soaked in her essence of life, and when the Rain Master ascended, the ox ascended with her.โ
okay thats enough for now i have 7 more chapters to book 4!!! woo!!!
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MXTX Ladiesโ Week: Girls, Goddesses, and Ghosts
After writing about Scum Villainโs female cast here and MDZSโs here, itโs time to write about Heaven Officialโs Blessingโs female cast... which is actually smaller than the other two in quantity but imo, in quality, is far greater. Most of the women do not die, and several have fantastic arcs. Theyโre allowed to be kickass, to make their own decisions, to be morally flawed, to be extremely feminine, to be emotional, to be ugly, and to even be villains--and the whole while, the story depicts them with empathy.
So letโs start with the mortals. This is again more a ramble than a direct meta.ย
The Humans:
Me, skipping happily into TGCF, immediately loving one character, and her dying like ten chapters in:
Yes, Iโm talking about Xiao Ying. I also realize I said that most of TGCFโs female characters donโt get killed off, so Iโm not leading off with a convincing argument (she is the only one who really does).ย
Little Yingโsย role in the narrative is as a parallel to Xie Lian and a way to introduce the main themes of the story, which her arc encapsulates. A teenage girl who is noted to be physically unattractive, sheโs introduced to us praying to Feng Xin for protection. The god who she prays to for protection from whomever is stealing the brides comments cruelly on her appearance, foreshadowing how corrupt heaven is, and Xie Lian quickly realizes that someone has tried to humiliate her already by cutting a hole in the back of her skirt, hinting at the theme of human cruelty and suffering. He is kind to her, and in return, she helps him prepare for his undercover mission to catch the bride thief, showing the the answer to her prayers is through her own work and kindness, and the connections she makes (with Xie Lian in this case).
The reader quickly learns that Little Ying might not be physically beautiful, but she has a beautiful heart, taking care of a scarred ghost who lives in the mountains (Lang Ying). Yet people turn on her and scorn her when she tries to protect Lang Ying, because humanity is often cruel to their own, and an orphan girl who is unattractive is a target. Yet, unlike the rest of the crowd gathered by the house where all the brides have been stolen away to, she wants to help. But her attempts to help, to save everyone, get her killed, and itโs noted that they do not actually help.ย
Softly, she said, โI feel as though my entire life, there werenโt many days where I lived happy.โ
Xie Lian also didnโt know what to say, and gently patted her hand. Little Ying sighed, โOh well, forget it. I might just be someoneโฆโฆborn unlucky.โ
This is something that repeats in Xie Lianโs arc as well: he often winds up hurting where he tried to help (as with Jun Wu, too), and sacrificing oneself is looked at, as it is in MDZS, with nuance in TGCF. Little Ying did not need to die. Thereโs a futility to human suffering in TGCF: it doesnโt bring a purpose, it isnโt glorious, and it doesnโt always make someone a better or worse person. It just is.ย
Yet itโs also worth noting that the story is asking: when society treats you a certain way because of things you cannot help, such as gender, appearance, and economic status, what power do you have to decide your fate?ย The answer is what brings comfort to Little Ying in her last minutes: sheโs not alone. Xie Lian stays with her as she dies. Little Ying, too, made an effort to make sure others were not alone (Lang Ying). Suffering is unbearable, but if youโre not alone, there is comfort.ย
The Demons:ย
Two of the demon ladies are fantastic deconstructions of female character stereotypes: the crazed ex (Xuan Ji) and the evil seductress (Jian Lan).ย ย
(remember this meme? it plays into the crazy ex trope too)
Xuan Ji is the scorned woman who murders brides to vent her frustration at the world (and at Pei Ming, the lover who abandoned her). She is Little Yingโs counterpart in the first arc, in that while Little Ying is a Xie Lian parallel, Xuan Ji is a parallel to our main antagonist,ย Bai WuXiang, in that sheโs determined to take out her misfortune on literally everyone around her. But she is in genuine pain, which the novel takes care to note:
Under her long hair, her tears started to fall as she said, โIโve waited for him for centuries, what important matter does he have? Back then, in order to see me, he would cross half of the border in a single night, so what important matter could he have now? So important that he wouldnโt even be willing to see me once? An important matter? He doesnโt actually have one, right?โ
Itโs not portraying Pei Ming as a poor sad victim here; on the contrary, his treatment of Xuan Ji is condemned. She betrayed her army for him, and he doesnโt like her because, in many ways, he comes across as a chauvinist (at first. This is later unpacked too, but thatโs for another meta).ย
ย โGeneral Pei does not like strong-minded women, and Xuan Jiโs natural disposition is strong-willed. This is why they could not stay together for long. General Xuan Ji was unwilling to let go, so she said to General Pei that she was willing make sacrifices and change herself. Thus, she voluntarily abolished her martial arts and broke her own two legs. In this way, she did the equivalent of breaking both her wings and tying herself to General Pei. Despite all this, General Pei didnโt abandon her. He took her in and looked after her, yet, he still wouldnโt take her as his wife. Because General Xuan Jiโs long-cherished wish could not be fulfilled, she killed herself in hate. Not for any other reason, but only to make General Pei feel sad and aggrieved.
Again, harming yourself for the sake of someone else is not presented as a good thing in TGCF. The story does a good job of pointing out that both sides can be at fault; there isnโt a black and white, one is evil and the other good situation in the story. Because Xuan Ji then wonโt give up and makes it her mission to torture and humiliate Pei Ming, which she does the former and tries for the latter on numerous occasions. Yet the conclusion to their arc is Pei Ming finally telling her:ย
...it was Pei Ming who abandoned Xuan Ji first, this female ghost also killed countless after, trying to kill them time and time again... looking like this, she was a little pitiful.
Pei Ming looked back at her, and in the end, he only said, โXuan Ji, itโs time you wake up.โย
โWake up what.โ Xuan Ji was confused.
โThat youโve become this way, Iโm part of the reason, but a majority of it is by your own decisions. Youโve done so much but you can only move your own heart, Iโm a steel-hearted man. Rather than love me, why donโt you go love yourself.โย
He yanked back his robes from Xuan Jiโs hold, and left without looking back.
Itโs not that heโs innocent in how he treated her (he isnโt), and itโs not that Xuan Jiโs pain isnโt real, but what we do with our suffering is the pivot on which everyoneโs character arc in TGCF swings, and so just as Pei Ming finally decides to take responsibility for his actions, so does Xuan Ji. And after she finally lets go of her resentment, she is able to dissipate and leave the world, entering into a reincarnation cycle.
Jian Lan is originally portrayed to us as Lan Cheng, a vulgar-tongued prostitute who is the mother of a demonic murdering ghost baby, CuoCuo. Yet eventually the reader finds out she was actually a potential concubine for Xie Lian and, after the kingdom of Xian Le fell, she became a prostitute, and CuoCuo is actually the son of Feng Xin, one of Xie Lianโs best friends. Feng Xin promises to take care of them, but Jian Lan tells Xie Lian this in the end:
"having Cuo Cuo is enough for me. Who hasnโt made promises or swore to the mountains and the seas when they were young? Talking of affection, of love, of forevers. But, the longer I hung around in the world, the more I understand, something like โforeverโ is impossible. Itโs never going to be possible. Having it once was already good enough. No one can truly achieve it. I donโt believe in it anymore.โ
Itโs not that the story wants to imply that forever really isnโt possible (Hua Cheng and Xie Lianโs relationship counters this), but it also doesnโt invalidate Jian Lanโs choice.ย
โWhat youโve said are all things of the past. What was love once doesnโt mean itโll last. To be a charity case and a nuisance, Iโm not interested.โย
โWhy would he think you both a nuisance?โ Xie Lian asked, โDonโt you know the kind of person Feng Xin is?โย
โYou, His Highness the Crown Prince, you have never lived the common life, so of course youโd think things are that simple. He wonโt now, and he wonโt on the surface either. But once time gets dragged out, then nothing could be sure.
Itโs her choice, and her choice not to risk trying love with Feng Xin again is respected by the narrative. Her choice parallels Xuan Jiโs, but unlike Xuan Ji, Jian Lanโs problem was never that she cared too much about a cast-off lover, but that she did not want to tell said lover the truth. Now that she has, her choices and her freedom to decide her fate remain. She too is not alone: she has her son.ย
The last demonic ghost character is Ban Yue, another Xie Lian parallel. She is an orphan girl, mistreated, and later a high priestess of Banyue. She states Xie Lianโs wordsย โI, too want to save the world,โ and says that she took his teachings to heart.ย
Sheโs noted to be very lonely, and after Xie Lian โdiedโ saving her, she finds someone to cling to in Pei Su (Pei Mingโs descendent). Once they find out the kingdom of Banyue plans to destroy the city itself and everyone around it, Ban Yue opens the gates for Pei Su to slaughter everyone in the city--but at least the people outside it will survive. Itโs a complex moral decision that doesnโt have an easy answer.ย
โYou also said, โDo what you think is right!โโ Ban Yue told him.
โ....whatโฆ nonsense! โฆ Why did I keep saying those kinds of thingsโฆ Iโm nothing like that at allโฆ am I??โ Xie Lian thought.
โBut, I donโt know whatโs right anymore.โ Ban Yue said.
Xie Lian froze.
Ban Yueโs sulky voice buzzed from the pot, โI thought I was doing the right thing, but in the end it was me who opened the gates that let in the enemy who slaughtered my people... But if I didnโt open the gates, the Banyue people would terrorize the Midlands and hurt more people... I really wanted to do well as the Head Priestess. But, not only did I opened the gates, I killed them, and refused them human flesh. If they didnโt feed on human flesh theyโd suffer, and I couldnโt relieve them of that suffering...ย Itโs like no matter what I did, the result was going to be bad... I know I didnโt do things right, but can you tell me, where did I go wrong?โย
Hearing her question, Xie Lian rubbed the back of his neck and said slowly, โIโm sorry, Ban Yue. The answer to that question, Iโd not known it back then, and nowโฆ I donโt think I know the answer now either.โ
The thing is, if Xie Lian hadnโt gotten himselfย โkilledโ saving her, the gates wouldnโt have been opened. Yet, if he didnโt sacrifice himself, she would be dead. There isnโt a right or a wrong choice; itโs complex morally. It also foreshadows what will happen in Book 2, when a flashback reveals to us that Xie Lian himself learned the hard way that there isnโt always a way to save everyone through the fall of his kingdom Xian Le.ย
The Goddesses:ย
My favorite female character in TGCF is YuShi Huang, or the Princess who Slit Her Throat. Sheโs not dead though; sheโs a goddess whose quick thinking saved her familyโs kingdom. Sheโs a Xie Lian parallel in that she is a laughingstock; Pei Ming is noted to have led a siege against her kingdom and have mocked her cruelly in her life. However, YuShi Huang, being the youngest of sixteen children, become the unlikely heir who saves her father and her kingdom, and later will grow to save those who laugh at her.ย
She has a kind, self-sacrificing personality like Xie Lian, but she does warn Xie Lian when she helps him by lending him her spiritual device to give his kingdom water that rain is a limited resource, and thereโs only so much that he can do. Sheโs in other words a mite wiser than Xie Lian is at this point--if Little Ying can be seen as him in his childlike stage, trying to save everyone, and Ban Yue as his adolescent phase of character development when heโs started to question, then YuShi Huang can be seen as his parallel once he matures--which is why the reveal of just who the Lord Rain Master is comes very late in the story. Her wisdom is used to save and to heal what she can (such as smuggling Hua Cheng to Xie Lian), but she knows she cannot do everything.ย
She also foils Xuan Ji, in that both are from YuShi and were treated cruelly by Pei Ming in life. However, she ultimately saves Pei Ming several times, and when Xuan Ji passes on, she performs a passing service for the ghost.ย Pei Mingโs subsequent... embarrassment (schoolboy crush? Itโs kinda questionable based on the explicit parallels with Xuan Ji, and Xuan Jiโs outright accusations of him liking her in dialogue with him) over how YuShi Huang saved him is also rather amusing.ย
Aaaand then thereโs the other goddess.ย Ling Wen has the distinction of being the only complex MXTX character I struggle to like. (Jun Wu used to be on this list but. Writing him helped me like him. Not so much with Ling Wen--but I do think sheโs a well done character so please note that my dislike is purely my personal opinion and not an accusation of narrative failing nor an implication that anyone should not stan her (by all means, do so!))
Sheโs a Jun Wu parallel in many ways, which is why sheโs the only god who winds up on his side even after all heโs done comes to light. Her role in a corrupt and sexist court is also not unsympathetic: sheโs often worshipped in her male form, so she adopts it, she was mistreated by the literature god before her, and sheโs angry about it (every woman whoโs seen men get promoted ahead of them in an office can feel this on a--hem--spiritual level). Her anger is justified, and itโs hilarious how the Upper Court cannot actually function without her and so her punishment for her crimes essentially amounts toย โplease just do your job.โย
Sheโs also only character who does not have a close relationship with anyone, and this is almost certainly deliberate in response to the unfairness and the sexism and cruelty of the world and how it treats her, as a woman. She tells Xie Lian:ย
โSomething like a genuine heart is made to be trampled...โ
After a long silence, Xie Lian said, โYou said โsimilar to himโ. So, was General Bai Jing like this too?โย
Ling Wen smiled lightly, โWhy else would he be deceived by me?โย
...
Xie Lian said, โโฆ you wanted to help General Bai Jing in becoming a Supreme, and have him wake to his senses, right?โย
Ling Wen gave a small laugh, โYour highness, donโt say it like I would do anything for him. After all, Iโm cold-blooded and recognized no loved ones, so why would I do anything like that?โย
Her closest relationship is with the Brocade Immortal Bai Jing, someone she transformed into an object. But if, as Xie Lian implies, she wanted to awaken Bai Jing again, it may imply that she might be lonely and long for connection after all, even if she is afraid to take the risks involved in human connection. Hopefully sheโll be able to connect again, now that the gods are incredibly grateful to her for doing the job none of them could do. Like Jun Wu, she has a chance.ย
#tgcf#heaven official's blessing#hob meta#tgcf meta#tian guan ci fu#mxtx meta#mxtx ladies week#ling wen#yushi huang#ban yue#xiao ying#jian lan#xie lian
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This week Iโm fairly sure I read a lot more fic. While school and work have both kept me incredibly busy when I get free time (early in the morning or really late at night) I would relax by reading fic. As a multi-fandom person I usually read fics from multiple fandoms but this past week I went kinda crazy.ย
However, Sunday I finally decided I would dive into the Sherlock fandom. Specifically johnlock. I think over a year ago I might have read a brief fic about these two but never really dived too deep into the fandom. Even though I kinda peaked at shipped them when watching the BBC show. I feel like next week I am going to have a lot more Sherlock fics.ย
STAR TREK (TOS/AOS)
๐น๏ธ ๐พ๐ผ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ผ๐ [AO3] by ๐จ0๐ข๐ข๐๐ง๐จ๐ฅ๐ง0๐จ๐จ๐๐ฃ [AO3]
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: James โJimโ Kirk x Spock ๐๐๐๐: Complete | Mature | 7 Chapters | 42.3K Words | PTSD
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ : Kirk saves Vulcan from Nero at high cost to himself. It falls to Spock to pick up the pieces.
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: I havenโt read a spirk fic like this where Kirk ended up saving Vulcan. We get to see him deal with the PTSD from being tortured and how Spock begins to see the real Kirk. Definitely a must read!
๐น๏ธ ๐๐ ๐๐ผ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐พ๐๐๐ฟ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ผ๐๐ [AO3] by ๐ฅ๐ง๐ค๐ช๐ซ๐๐๐ง๐๐ฃ๐ [AO3]
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: James โJimโ Kirk x Spock ๐๐๐๐: Complete | 1 Chapter | 7K Words
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ : Sometimes theyโll also ask him why he hasnโt gone out and chased hi soulbond yet.
Jim will point to the sky and say,ย โThe moonโs always there, babe. Donโt need to go chasinโ after her.โย
It is January, year 2063. Humanity has quietly achieved interstellar travel, and Jim Kirkโs soulbond stretches into the stars.
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: I love soulmate auโs and the au that spirk are the first to make contact. An amazing twist! Though, we need more first contact spirk fics.
๐น๏ธ ๐๐๐พ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ผ๐ [AO3] by ๐-๐๐๐-๐ก๐ (๐พ๐๐ข๐ข๐๐ง๐๐ก) [AO3]
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: James โJimโ Kirk x Spock ๐๐๐๐: Complete | 1 Chapter | 12.7K Words
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ : As Vulcans settled bases on Earth, as the war began, what was a timid relationship became volatile almost in a single moment.ย
Not one day passed that Spock did not think of the blue-eyes boy and the love and companionship they shared. Bonded for life to a Terran, he welcomed himself to isolation from others emotionally. As he grew, he refused to allow himself to hold out any hope that Jim was still alive, not when the Terran body count continued to rise.
ONCE UPON A TIME
๐น๏ธ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ [AO3] by ๐๐๐ง๐๐๐ฃ๐ค๐๐ฉ๐๐๐ค๐จ [AO3]
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: Peter Pan xย Wendy Darling ๐๐๐๐: Complete | 1 Chapter | 4.3K Words | Unhealthy Relationship
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ : The five times she wanted to leave and the one time she didnโt.ย
(The five times he didnโt let her go and the one time he did.)ย
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐:ย Iโve always been fascinating by dark!Peter and through this fic we get to see how possessive and obsessed he is with Wendy. Taking a turn on the Poriginal Peter pan. Itโs definetely not a healthy relationship (even though I put them as a pairing) but we get to see how Peter deals with those he loves (if thats what you can call it).
HEAVEN OFFICIALโS BLESSING (TIAN GUAN CI FU)
๐น๏ธ ๐๐๐๐๐๐พ๐๐๐ฟ ๐ฝ๐ ๐๐๐๐ผ๐ [AO3] by ๐จ๐๐ก๐ซ๐๐ง๐๐๐จ๐ฉ๐๐ง๐ฃ [AO3]
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: Hua Cheng/San Lang x Xie Lian ๐๐๐๐: Complete | 1 Chapter | 8.5K Words
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ : Hua Cheng has wanted Dianxia for so long he doesnโt know how to survive knowing that Dianxia is his at long last. Worse still, Dianxia doesnโt seem to have any interest in consummating their relationship, leaving Hua Cheng in theย mdist of his greatest trial yet; keeping his lust from consuming them whole.ย
But a gem cannot be polished without friction nor a man perfected without trials - and after everything, Hua Chen will not let this trial be the one that defeats him.
๐น๏ธ ๐๐๐ผ๐๐
๐๐ผ๐๐ [AO3] by ๐จ๐๐ก๐ซ๐๐ง๐๐๐จ๐ฉ๐๐ง๐ฃ [AO3]
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: Hua Cheng/San Lang x Xie Lian ๐๐๐๐: Complete | 1 Chapter | 11K Words
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ : When Xie Lian wakes up to Hua Chengโs female form, he doesnโt know what to do. When he finally gives into his desire to touch her, he doesnโt know what to do. When he decides that the only solution is to seek a female form of his own...
They figure out what to do together.
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: An amazing fic where we get to not only discover San Langโs female form but Xie Lianโs as well! Never really thought much aboutย their female forms before this but I would enjoy reading more now!
๐น๏ธ ๐ฝ๐๐ ๐ผ ๐๐ผ๐๐๐๐ฟ๐๐๐พ๐๐๐ [AO3] by ๐ฅ๐๐ง๐จ๐๐๐๐ [AO3]
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: Hua Cheng/San Lang x Xie Lian ๐๐๐๐: Complete | 1 Chapter | 10.9K Words
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ : Hua Cheng has always given everything he is to Xie Lian. For once, Xie Lian wants him to be selfish so Xie Lian can give something back.
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: A beautiful fic where San Lang learns to be selfish with Xie Lian (aka the type of fic that Iโve been dying to read and was not disappointed in).
๐น๏ธ ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฝ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ (๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐) [AO3] by ๐ฅ๐๐ง๐จ๐๐๐๐ [AO3]
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: Hua Cheng/San Lang x Xie Lian ๐๐๐๐: Complete | 1 Chapter | 4.3K Words
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ : When Xie Lian is hurt, Hua Cheng keeps his hands to himself in penance. Xie Lian, however, insists on finding a resolution. After all - only a God should punish their most beloved worshipper.ย
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: A fic I needed to read! I can definitely see this as canon because San Lang would definetely punish himself is his Dianxia got injured. Of course, we all know Xie Lian wouldnโt agree.ย
GRANDMASTER OF DEMONIC CULTIVATION (MO DAO ZU SHI)
๐น๏ธ ๐ฝ๐๐๐ ๐ฝ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐พ๐ผ๐๐ฟ๐๐ [AO3] by ๐ฅ๐๐ง๐จ๐๐๐๐ [AO3]
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: Lan Zhan/Lan Wangji x Wei Ying/Wei Wuxian ๐๐๐๐: Complete | 1 Chapter | 4.3K Words
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ : Wei Ying has been dwelling too much on the past so Lan Zhan roots him to the present.
๐น๏ธ ๐ผ๐ ๐๐ ๐ผ๐๐ [AO3] by ๐ฅ๐๐ง๐จ๐๐๐๐ [AO3]
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: Lan Zhan/Lan Wangji x Wei Ying/Wei Wuxian ๐๐๐๐: Complete | 1 Chapter | 3.2K Words
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ : At Lotus Pier, Lan Zhan is coaxed by Wei Ying into hunting pheasants, but discovers a new silver of Wei Yingโs past instead.
๐น๏ธ ๐๐๐ฟ๐๐๐๐ [AO3] by ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฃ๐๐ข๐ค๐ช๐จ [AO3]
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: Lan Zhan/Lan Wangji x Wei Ying/Wei Wuxian ๐๐๐๐: Complete | 6 Chapters | 24.5K Words
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ : Before he broke the Stygian Tiger Seal in two, he took one last look at his wrist. Everlasting, it said. Even after everything, his other half still considered their love everlasting.
Wi WuXian murmured a quiet apology to the soulmate he hd never met and then he unleashed an unholy nightmare.
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: Iโm back at it again with the soulmate aus and this is one of the best soulmate mark aus I have read. Plus, we get to see Wei Ying deal with a little bit of PTSD from his former life. (Also, I have no clue how the author managed to pick the soulmarks so well. They could not have done a better job!)ย
Also, THISย is another fic I read this week which is apart continuation of this story. Wei Ying finds out about Lan Zhanโs scars.
BBCโs SHERLOCK
๐น๏ธ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ [AO3] by ๐๐ฎ๐๐ง๐ช๐จ [AO3]
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: Sherlock Holmes x John Watson ๐๐๐๐: Complete | 1 Chapter | 1.9K Words
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ : John is Sherlockโs internet boyfriend - from CANADA.
No one thinks heโs real.
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: So... I kind of dived into the Sherlock fandom and loved this oneshot about johnlock meeting online. Itโs especially funny because no one believes Sherlock can get a boyfriend.
๐น๏ธ ๐๐๐๐ [AO3] by ๐ก๐๐๐๐ค๐ฃ๐ข๐๐ง๐จ [AO3]
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: Sherlock Holmes x John Watson ๐๐๐๐: Complete | 9 Chapters | 45.2K Words
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ : John Watson is left-handed.
Heโs tried not to let it affect his life, but as any Lefty knows, thatโs almost impossible.
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: Wow! Was not expecting this when I first clicked because of the interesting summary. Itโs a knack au where everyone has some kind of knack or ability and it blends so well into the original storyline (with the added bonus of johnlock)! It quickly became an all-time fav!
#weekly reading recs#weekly reading recs pt.3#fanfic#fic recs#once upon a time#bbc's sherlock#star trek tos/aos#star tek#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#heaven official's blessing#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#sherlock holmes#john watson#sherlock holmes x john watson#lan zhan/lan wangji#wei ying/wei wuxian#lan zhan/lan wangji x wei ying/wei wuxian#hua cheng/san lang#xie lian#hua cheng/san lang x xie lian#james 'jim' kirk#spock#james 'jim' kirk x spock#peter pan#wendy darling#peter pan x wendy darling
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